As those who follow my bleatings on these pages will know i have been exploring the period of the non-history of Albilande known as the war of the four kings. I have been keen to recreate the period with the help of the tireless oldhammer plastic reenactment society by bringing the battles of said war back to life through the medium of pushing toy soldiers around a table. I believe so far this has been the best way to explore the period. However some of the happenings of the age can not be explained through this method and require a ruddy good delving i am not qualified to give. The actions of the overthrow of the ruling classes of Offenhammeshire, known in the nothistorical world as 'The two nights of Cripes and Lummie' would be one such example of this as to bring it to life in my normal way would be an undertaking beyond my meagre skills. To this end i have lifted (with the fictional authors permission of course) part of a chapter that i think best explains the events from the lauded work 'Albilande, what a flippin' palava' by Dr Levington Tyxi-Lyx, which in my belief is the finest unnoted work on the subject. So a big thank you to Dr Tyxi-Lyx.
Chapter 7: Cripes on the streets
The history of Offenhammeshire is one of two classes. The ruling lords subject to the king living as lords tended to do, that is, looking down on the unwashed and groveling to those they see as their betters, and the underclass, those existing outside of the established feudal system. To understand the rise of the underclass one must first know about the nature of the Offenhammeshire economy. The position of Offenhammeshire to the west of Albilande gave it an imperious access to the major shipping lanes off the west coast and made it the gateway to the eastern seas for most established western nations wishing to trade with the nations beyond. It was oft remarked that one folly (of many) of the Albilande royal family was to not make Offenhammeshires capitol the seat of the king, such was the economic importance of these seas. Most of the shipping companies working in the area were under the control of the lords but were crewed and manned by lowly men eager to make a living for their families. Thus even though the lords chartered the ships and their cargo once the ships left port they were in the hands of the crew and only supervised by captains very much out for themselves. The shipping would work like clockwork, gold pouring into the holds of the ruling classes keeping them happy but what was not known to them was what else was being brought back from these voyages!.
The conditions led to the influx of contraband into Offenhammeshire, smuggling was at record levels and the exotic goods coming in were often worth more than the official cargo being transported. The smugglers were becoming more organized with each shipment, key families would rise to prominence in these circles, taking power from weaker operators and forming alliances where prudent. It must be noted that these treaties and agreements were often paper thin and would lead to much double crossing on all sides. Soon only a few groups (known as 'furms') held the reigns of power in this now wealthy underclass, their unofficial worth being greater than many of the lords themselves.
Social conditions during the rise of the furms were tough for those involved, the furms moved into several industries to protect and expand their areas of operation (or 'turf'). Protection rackets, gambling dens, fencing and pick pocketing rings all fell under their control as well as some other more 'unsavory' industries. As the furms vied for power and influence unrest flared and running battles between their men were commonplace. Local crooks were told to join or run out of town and unions and local authorities were brought off or intimidated.
While this was going on the Lords turned a blind eye for the most part and those that did try to stem the flow of violence and contraband tended to vanish rapidly. Many of the upper class were unwittingly ensnared in the furms webs through their own vices, the means of which were supplied and stoked by the influx of smuggled illegal items or the other areas controlled by the furms, leading to much pressure being applied through the use of blackmail.
By the time the King became fully aware of the extent of the rot that had taken hold in his most profitable province it was too late, despite sending numerous officers and operatives into the area the grip of the furms was too strong and they would find the very people they came to free from their grasp would block all their attempts. It is said at the time of the Royal Damson Duff massacre the royal authorities were planning a military invasion of the shire to oust the furms for good!.
With the entire royal line dead and the Shires in open war the furms acted, well one furm to be precise. The Ruckingham furm, one of the two most powerful furms struck a decisive blow on their rivals, through a storm of violence, blackmail and gold they ran their closest rivals, the Ever-ready furm out of business and murdered its leaders (or 'top boys'). This step cemented the Ruckingham furm as 'Top Dogs' among their peers and in control of the largest operations in the shire. However their next move would be their most audacious.
As the Nobles of Offenhammeshire pondered their next moves within the turmoil of the conflict the nation had fallen into the Ruckingham furm struck. Over two nights of violence and intimidation the lords were murdered or driven from the shire to a man, scattered as exiles or murdered in their beds. The Ruckingham furm and all the furms loyal to them then turned their attention to the furms that opposed them and set about exterminating them and their members. Within two days the furm had taken control of the shire, keeping their actions under wraps for several weeks until exiled lords managed to send messages to the other shires. These two nights of bloodshed became known as 'The two nights of Cripes and Lummie'. As the Furms solidified their hold they looked east to the rest of the shires and the chaos that had enveloped them......
So, i hope that helps to explain the happenings in Offenhammeshire while the battles i have already recreated were going on, this period is key, as is the fact that the actions of the Ruckingham furm were kept quiet for some time after when understanding the goings on at the battle of Harrisons Fjords, which is the next battle to be recreated on these pages (coming soon.....i hope!). It is also worth giving a huge thank you to the tireless seamstresses and armourers working to clothe and equip the Wronghammer plastic reenactment society for all their sterling work in creating the correct clothing of the period. Up until now the brave folk of the society have made do with several period uniforms but now they have been fully reclothed in the correct uniforms of the day!. Much of the work of the armourers and clothbotherers is unpaid and completed in their free time so well done to all of you!*
* Or i have based the required new minis!.
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