Sunday, 22 September 2019

A public shaming!.

Yep, you read the title correctly.......but first:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Before there was grunge.....there was Mudhoney!!!.

  Right on to the naming and ruddy shaming (rant upcoming!).

    My wife, the Amazing Mrs Sprinks was right, there i have said it!. Do i feel better.....well, sort of!. 'but what was she right about?' i hear you cry, well Mrs Sprinks has often been known to proclaim the mighty maxim 'DONT YOU HAVE ENOUGH LITTLE MEN BY NOW YOU WONDERFUL, BUFF, KINDHEARTED EXAMPLE OF A MAN?' (she may not use those words exactly). My normal response being to don the metaphorical smoking jacket and quip 'My dear, you simply cannot have too many of these wonderful little toys, for there is much to explore. Dont worry your pretty head about such things' for the record this response was never finished in its entirety and always ended in '.OWW!!'.

 But i have finally come to the realization that she may have a point!. I know, pick yourself up oh fellow hobbiest and gurdle your loins, this next bit may require the use of smelling salts to plough through!. I had decided to sell off a few bits and bobs i was never going to get on the table to fund the purchase of some more 12mm goodness and to that end i decided it would be a good idea to organize my collection of 1/72 plastics to see what was surplus. I skipped to the hobby area (where Mrs Sprinks keeps the 'little men' out of eyeshot of visitors!) with a roll of plastic sandwich bags in hand to quickly execute said task and then put my feet up. Two hours later i had maybe sorted a fifth of my bits and run out of bags!. With hindsight this should have sounded the alarm in my head that all was not well. Another roll of bags and three days later the plastic goodies are sorted into sets ready to decide whats staying. It looked like this!:

Millie the Wronghammer hound included for scale!.

  It was at this point i realized i may have a problem!.

 So, it is with head bowed i admit i am a hoarder of plastic with far more minis than i will ever use, its no wonder i can never stick to one project with all this nagging away at me for a go on the table!. So the first step to recovery they say is admitting you have a problem. Check. The next one is to get ruthless and sell off the stuff that is surplus.! Lummie, that may be a huge task!. So i will be chucking a few batches of stuff on the 'bay to shift it in the next few weeks, looking to keep only what i will actually use in projects (and what i can realistically paint in one lifetime!). However there are two things i will do first. First, dear readers of this bobbins, is to show the bits for sale here first for you guys before they hit ebay. You guys put up with my cruddy blabbings so its only right you get first dibs (although i may be simply enabling some of you!). If you fancy any of it leave a comment and i will get back to you. Twhit:

Caesar Libyan Warriors

Zvezda Persians

Zvezda Austrian Pikes and muskets one full set on sprue and some odd bits.

Dark Dream Studio Landsknechts

Red box 16th cent Italians

Revell Normans

A f**ktonne of Mini Art Medievals. (my legs not included!)

Red box and Orion Turkish troops.

  The second thing is to say that if in the time you have been reading this blog you have seen any bits you think you would like feel free to leave a comment and i will see what can be done.

.......'till next time......

Wednesday, 18 September 2019

Quite the find!

Things have taken quite an amazing turn here at Chez Sprinks and have honestly got me bouncing around the place (more than normal) with pure excitement!!. Before i get into whats causing all the glee i suppose i should do:

                                                    So thats what an estimated 1.6 million strong crowd looks like!!!.

   Now on to the good stuff!. As some of you may remember aside from mucking about the gaff with toy soldiers i also do a spot of delving into this nations fictional history, particularly the forgotten battles of the period between 1010 and 1604 that had not actually taken place and the lives of those fabricated protagonists that, errr.... protaginized them. As a member of the non accredited fictional historian club and a keen delver into the non historical i could not believe my luck when i was contacted by a dear friend and fellow histspurian  the esteemed Cedric Hamilton-Kidway (yes, the man that lifted the lid on the wool makers rebellion and the resulting 1801 sacking of Gilford no less!) who said he was sending me some newly unearthed materials dating from 1454 that had been found in Spilfington Abby on the non existent isle of Epplidge!. Now i am sure you dear reader are asking the same question i was, were these in fact the missing accounts of the so called 'Epplidge unrest', a period in nonhistory that has eluded the delvers of the mists of not time for so long?.  Well it is with great excitement i can reveal to you all that yes, they are an almost complete set of writings of the time by one Jude, a priest of the Abby who was tasked with recording the annals of the war of 1454!. The writings are very detailed giving a good idea from a non source of the whos, wheres and whens events did not occur!. I have looked through the writings in fine detail and have  had them non varified  by some of the best in the non historical community and it is my pleasure to announce to you all it has been agreed that i, with the aid of the Wronghammer plastic re-enactment  society (Wincanton mini metal chapter), can serialize the events of the 'unrest' on these pages with an aim to publishing the collected materials in book form when complete!.

 So to begin i thought i would look into the wider picture that led up to the events of 1454 as not detailed by the good Jude, a Priest. His first entry in the annals is as follows:

   'Dear diariee, 
it has beene a difficulte day here upon thee Abby, a fowle did crapee upon ones cassock  this morn when the collecting of egges was being completed, causing myselfe to steppe southwards onto a discarded rake, said implemente did swing upwards in comedic fashion and twatte ye goode Friar Bullridge betwixt yonder eyes, killing him upon the instant. The Abbot wase muchly pissed offe at such a happenstance and dothe punish myselfe fore my mishappe by forcing me to travele hither ande twine upone this goode isle to regarde ande recorde upone the unrestte emerging betwixt the goode Lordes of the mighty houses of this fair isle reguarding the publicatione of a booke containing much elicit and unsettling materials. Thee goode Abbot assures me the path aheade wille be thwart withe dangers moste real and that i am to be unswerving in my hunte fore only the truthe as it reveals itself, even to deathe most unpleasent if required. He seemed most animated on this point i doth think he dislikes me.
I hate being a priest.

This first entry in the annals gives some small clues into the reason for the friction that would not develop later in the year. The mention of a book gives a clear indication that it was not just a simple border dispute or tit for tat raid or two. This mystery text opened up a can of worms indeed, what book could cause such large scale conflict on such a semi peaceful isle such as Epplidge?. After a ruddy good delve two texts emerged as front runners, namely 'House Stones are a bunch of girly, girly swots' by famed academic Sir Norbet Collicton and 'I wish all of house T'head would die in an imaginative and painful way such as a barn fire or some such' by Mr Bitton Farrage. Both seemed fairly insulting to the Two most powerful houses on the isle and were written by members of the other house. I discussed this at length with respected members of the non history community but opinion was split. I then stumbled upon a line of text scrawled on the back of a loose leaf of writing paper wedged between the writings given to me by Hamilton-Kidway. It simply said:


  This was indeed a turn up. Delving into the name Mrs Entwhistle soon revealed the spark that started the trouble!. As any expert on 15th century Epplidge knows Mrs Entwistle was an author and proto-domestic godess of the time, sort of a fore runner to Mrs Beeton, Fanny Craddock, Delia Smith and Jamie Oliver. Looking into her published works (of which there are over 300!) i finally managed to pin down a likely source of the issue:

    To give this some context i must fill in some culinary nothistory. The above text refers to the most revered of British snack foods, the humble pasty. It is often wrongly believed that this dish was invented in Cornwall, this however is not the case. Its true origin goes back to 10th century Epplidge.
Further to this, its true make up is a much disputed issue that can inflame passions like no other!. The Eastern Houses claim the Pasty was invented in the town of Cluntingham. In the west they are convinced it came from Ruckingham. Further to this the pasties produced in the East of the isle are still produced in the image of the original (as the locals see it), sealing the pastry with the method known as the Cluntingham Crimp:
 The Cluntingham Crimp

  However in the rest of the isle they only ever seal the pastry along the top edge using a method known as the Ruckingham Ridgeback:

The Ruckingham Ridgeback.

 Oh and a small section swear by the Falligthorpe flatty but they are regarded to be a load of wrong 'uns by all!
move along!.....

  This may seem like an innocent passage to the modern reader but to a man of Epplidge it is either a true validation of fact from the greatest source of the period or a kick in the pastry based nethers and no mistake!.  A further passage from Jude, a Priest seems to agree:

 Dear Diaryeee,
    It has alle gone and hitte ye yonder fanne!, Mrs Entwhistle has refused to have the offending passage removed from her lateste tome and has gonne as far as stating 'you Westerners are a laode of cattle leavings withe eyes thate are too close together and eye brows that do not rightly part betwixt a meeting!, come and have a goe if ye believes ye to be hard enough!'. House T'Head have called thier banners in the west and demanded her head, Lorde Maurice of thee house has demanded it by the nexte moone moste full!. Lord Roland of House Stones has said he speekes for the easte and house T'Head can 'shove it youner!'. Oh lummy diaree, i hate being a priest!. 

  So i am sure you will agree this is quite the exciting turn up!. Next time out i will delve into the first clash of the wars, the battle of Nippletons Knowle, Also i have had a mock up of the potental book cover back from the work experience lad at the printers:

Im not sure he got the grasp of old english!?.

.....'till next time

Saturday, 7 September 2019

Of polystyrene, paint and singing chickens.

  I have done a fort and some paintings and other bollocks while i have not been blogging, but first.....
 a spot of experimental 'Murder rock' anyone?.

  Its been almost 3 weeks since my last episode of bloggery, but rest assured i have not been idle...but to be fair now i review my output its not really much to show for three bloody weeks!. Ho hum an' all that. Anyway first off the latest bunch of paint splattered bits of metal stuck to strips of plastic:

    Some 'orse and a unit of crossbows for the second force for my 12mm medieval armies, minis as ever by the fantastic kallistra. The force is coming together nicely, just a unit of knights to go and it will be done. Also i have looked at some of the minis i have painted for the other force, particularly the Ogres that i had completed before i discovered a way to adapt the cheep craft paints i have been using. As stated in a previous post the finish on these minis is grainy and a bit crap (not least because of my slapdash paintwork!) so i decided to redo the forces Ogres with the newly mixed paints. I say redo, its more a case of consolidating the 4 Ogres in to one larger, more 'manageable' Ogre:

 Ogre at rest, or a 28mm G.W. lotr orc depending on your perspective.

 The new Ogre vs the old ones, you can see the difference in finish.

Ogre vs Giant, i rather like the idea of Ogres being corrupted giants of a sort, also allows for them to be the same scale and for their bases to be uniform.

  As well as the painting we have had to replace our fridge here at chez Sprinks (cue 'fridge running' joke), and a good amount of polystyrene was included with it. With said waste material just laying around and a craft knife in hand your 'intrepid' blogger decided it could be more than just rubbish and set to work hacking out pleasing chunks of the stuff (and covering an area of about 2 miles in small static balls). After a coat of paint and a few passes with the dry brush i had the following:

 One knackered old fort.

 dragons eye view.

 Plenty of room for the 12mm troops on the walls.

'Its our turn now, you've 'ad it for ages!!'.

  I have gone for an unloved look mainly because polystyrene is a bugger to cut neatly but also because i thought it was funny to have a kingdom where the local lords deny all claims of ownership of these buildings and the heavy taxation and cost of upkeep that come with them during peaceful times but at the slightest hint of trouble send troops to claim them, slap on a gate and say they were there all along!.

 An example of the run down look  (otherwise known as 'a bit where the knife slipped'). 

 I also made some extra walls and damaged bits from the hacked up ends and leftovers  so i can make....


   The above should be going towards the almost ready to go setting and pastry based campaign taking up too much space in my already ragged noggin that is currently called

 Hopefully i will be detailing the ideas and background that will go into this whole silly undertaking next time out, but until then here is something that almost made Radio Wronghammer this time out:

.......'till next time......

Sunday, 18 August 2019

An idiots One Hour medieval Fantasy campaign rules.

For those under any confusion, i am the titular idiot not your good selves. What follows are the rules i intend to use to play my new campaign (one i have been painting my 12mm forces for):

       (a sneeky peek of the intended campaign for you, i will post about the background shortly!)

But first , as is tradition around these 'ere parts:

                                                                                       Say what you like about Nu metal, this album is still good!

Right, now to the thing the post is actually about:


 The campaign will be based on the fantastic:

Just to be clear, you will need a copy of the above mentioned One Hour Wargames by the honorable Mr Neil Thomas to have any idea what i am about to bang on about!.

 Right, basically the games i will be playing will use a mash up of the Dark age and Medieval rules from the above mentioned rule book with a few tweaks to 'fantisify' them. Use the rules set out in One Hour Wargames unless contradicted below.

Troop types: The troop types used are all the types in the two sections being used plus a few more added by myself. I have brought them together in this summary to show what they do:

(click on it to make it readable!)

 As you can see the basic troop types are there as is (except the Archers have been renamed and are not quite so effective. I have added the additional 'bits' of Morale and Rank, more of which..... actually!. Play through the rules as are but when you get to the Eliminating units phase replace it with the following:

4. Test Morale
    Any units that have received hits this turn must test morale. Do this by rolling 3d6 for the unit and adding the results together along with any mods listed under Morale on the table above. If the total is equal to or greater than the total number of hits the unit has received they pass the test and remain in play. If the score is less they have routed!, remove the unit, it is eliminated!. 

  When eliminating a unit check the Rank of any friendly units within 6'', if the rank of the eliminated unit is greater than that of the friendly unit the friendly unit receives 1 hit for seeing their 'betters' run from the field!. If the rank of the friendly unit is equal or greater than that of the eliminated unit no further actions are needed.

A unit will only test once during the phase even if they receive more hits during it due to routing friends, it is up to the player which order he tests his troops morale so be careful!.

 Each army must have a commander and may have more. Commanders are assigned to a unit and will be placed in contact with that unit when the force deploys. They will not leave the unit and will be eliminated if the unit they are with fails a morale test.
Place a commander as follows:

They must always be in contact.

The commanders stand is just there to show they are with the unit. All measurements are taken from the unit.

  At the start of the Movement phase roll 1D4 for each commander, the result is the number of command points the commander has this turn. You may spend a command point  at any time during your turn to do one of the following:

-   Allow a friendly unit within 12'' to re-roll one dice roll.

-  Allow a friendly unit within 12'' to re-roll one dice during a morale test. Note only one of the dice       is re-rolled per point spent, you may spend more than one point to re-roll more dice if you wish
-  Rally a friendly unit within 12'' by allowing them to remove 1d3 hits. (You can do this during the       Morale phase if you wish!).

You may keep re-rolling the same dice by spending more Command points if you wish. Once a point is used it is discarded so use them wisely!.

    Rather than using the random tables to generate an army (i have rather broken them by adding so many troop types!) you must spend points to pick the force you will use. The number used to determine the units value is their Rank score from the table above. I find it is best to play with between 10-15 points for a basic game depending on how big you want it. 20+ points would give an epic battle!

Choosing Commanders
   You may take one free Commander as your force leader.
   You may add an additional Commander for each 10 points of your force (or part there of) for 2           rank points.

An example 10 point force could be:
            1x Commander (free), 2x men at arms ( rank 4), 1x Missile foote (rank 2), 2x Skirmishers                    (rank 2), 1x Cavalry (rank 2).

     You need magic in a fantasy game i reckon!. I am going to go with my tried and tested explanation of the whys and hows (see here) as it still feels the most 'believable' thing wizards would do! (yes that is how my head works!). 
 To include magic in your force you must spend 1 rank point for each spell scroll you wish to order from the S.T.P.W.T. To see if they are delivered roll 1d6 for each spell. On a roll of 1 the spell has failed to show up on time, thats a rank point down the bog! (bloody lazy warlocks!), on a roll of 6 they have accidentally sent an extra scroll! (wizards are great after all!). Thats one more spell you can roll for nothing!.

  Each spell is sent in the form of a scroll with the casting requirements written on them (phonetically thank the gods!). Each scroll needs to be assigned to a commander before deploying your army (keep a note of who has what). The spell may be cast during the battle by that commander. Once a spell scroll has been used it is discarded. Ranges are measured from the unit the commander is with.
Note: Commanders may hold any number of spells and may use any number during a turn, once the spells have been used they are gone!.

 The Spells
  Roll 2d6 for each scroll before you allocate them to see what you have:

2-Fuggary Petes olde Flaming fireball of flaming fire (patent pending)
   Cast this spell during your shooting phase, the unit makes a shooting attack as if it was a unit of Missile foot, if it already has a shooting attack the spell may be used in addition to that attack.

3-Sour ol' Saul Saturates So Soothing Sense of sootheration (not tested on animals....well maybe the odd troll but who cares about trolls eh?)

  Cast this at any time on a friendly unit within 12'', that unit may remove half their hits (rounding up).

4-Muchly Manky Mikey Millers 'Make you into a brutal killer' spell (awaiting clinical trials).

  The spell is cast on a friendly unit within 12'' during the Hand to Hand combat phase. The unit may double its dice roll in combat this turn. However if the unit rolls a 1 it goes into a frenzy and attacks itself as well, in which happenstance roll the dice again and apply the number rolled as hits to BOTH units!.

5-Flipping Phillips fantastic fun spell for flipping well swapping spaces in time and space (fat free).

  Cast this spell on a friendly unit within 12'' during the movement phase. They may pick one unit (friend or foe) within 12'' of themselves. The units will automatically change places!. You may place the units facing whichever direction you wish and if the unit is yet to move this turn they may move after switching places. however you must roll 1d6 for the friendly unit you wish to cast the spell on before the units swap places. on the roll of a 1 the unit is lost in the winds of magic and instead of swapping places they are eliminated! .

6-Swarthy Stephens Spell of unusually swift swiftness (now with 21% real west lowland weasel!)

  Cast in a friendly unit within 12'' during your move phase. the unit may move twice this turn.

7-Likely Larrages Luxurious lather of unrefined luck. (use in a well ventilated area)

   Cast this on any friendly unit within 12'' at any time that is about to roll a dice. They may count the roll as a 6 without actually rolling the dice!.

8- Carmudgenly Carlos' cloude of confusing colours (not suitable for vegetarians).

  Cast in the enemy movement phase on an enemy unit within 12''. That unit may not move, fire weapons or attack in close combat this turn!.

9-Unlikely Uncle Ulicarrics ultra unlucky luck reversal remedy (all similarities to existing spells are purely coincidental)
  Cast this spell at any time during the enemy turn on an enemy unit within 12''. The next dice roll that unit makes is automatically a 1. The enemy may not use Command points to re-roll the dice.

10-Roderic Roodburys vengefull deathly rain of certain death (ages 8 and up)

 Cast this spell on a friendly unit within 12'' during the shooting phase. The unit may fire twice with any missile attacks they may have. They may fire at the same target or two different ones.

11-Delphine Duconitys Durable dose of double 'ard bastrdry (part of a multi-pack, not to be sold seperately).

 Cast this spell on a friendly unit within 12'' during your opponents turn before they are attacked with missiles or in hand to hand. The attack is discounted and is ignored. No damage is taken.

12- Blank Scroll!
     You may pick any single spell you like from the list above.

 As you can see i have gone for some pretty powerful spell effects to 'pep' the game up!. This means magic will have a large effect but is one use and provides another good reason to take out the enemy Commanders!.

 And that is about the shape of it for now........

....'till next time......

Monday, 12 August 2019

All together too productive by half (rather, me duck, an by 'eck as like and other regional exclamations as long can one title be!?!)

 As the title says (before it broke down into total self indulgent drivel) i have been waving the paint brush at stuff again! (honestly, i dont paint anything for years and then i go and do tonnes in 4 months!)......but first:
                                               I always thought they were underrated.

    As i was in the process of prattling:
 I done gone painting!.
These are all troops to be added to my 12mm project, more to the fact they are more units for my opposition force to the one i built for my £30 challenge.

 A unit of crossbowmen ('scuse the white splodges on the bases, the pva i use to seal the bases had yet to dry but i was loosing the light so just cracked on with the photos. Quite like effect mind). As ever they are 12mm troops from the wonderful kallistra
 Placed side by side for very little good reason.

 Skirmishers do some rock based skirmishing
 The forces foot command stand.

 as viewed leading from the front.

 And a RUDDY GREAT ARMOURED GIANT!. shown guarding his best rock and having a bit of a point. Hes a mix of Perry and Gripping Beast bits.
 A picture to give a sense of scale, from the left the giant is 28mm next to some 1/72 'ogres' next to some 12mm spears.

The army so far. Just some light and heavy horse and another unit of  crossbows and it will be done.

....'till next time....

Saturday, 10 August 2019

welcome to Daubishire!

Someone trusted me with a paintbrush again!....but first:

Audio Marmite agogo!! (my love for this band is only equaled by Mrs Sprinks hatred for them!!, i think its important to have balance in a marriage!)

  So as i mentioned above more paint has been thrown at little metal and plastic blokes resulting first in these:

Black Rats beware!.
  The above is the start of an opposition force to my £30 challenge army, they are yet to be named but the foot troops are made from the other half of the kallistra 12mm Scottish Pikemen packs used to make the Black Rats 'shafters'. As i'm sure you will attest they have been speed painted to be table ready only (not even a wash!) and are supposed to represent a more 'rabble like' force, maybe part trained village militia or some such. Leading them is a commander yet to be named and his banner waving mate!.

Another shot of the rabble.

 And another of the command stand.

'Come Sir Something, this way yonder to glory.....or just some more bloody felt.!'

  This will be another £30 force to take on the Black Rats when complete!. I have also been working on my small 1/72 forces for 'warhammerish' Blood, Guts and Severed Heads i am to use with the kids over the hols, this force is almost done, just some leaders and a centerpiece (guesses to which 'iconic' imperial thingy it will be in the comments!) to do and the force is ready!:

 'Empireish' 'orse!.

 Imperial knights ready to punch some chaotic types!.

  I was very apprehensive about painting these as they are some of my favorite 1/72 minis ever produced, Revells' Swedish cav from the 30 years war. I think a few of the minis i have are the crappy Mars reproductions (i got mine in an ebay job lot) as some of the details are far less 'crisp' on a couple of the riders and the plastic is notably thinner, but even so i could not do an 'Imperial' army without some of these.
The force as it stands.
You can see i am going for small skermishy type forces to make sure i dont get fed up painting hundreds of the same thing!.

 Well thats whats been going on 'round these parts recently, i hope to have more soon....

.....'till next time.....