Friday, 17 January 2020

Blood at the Sentinals pt2

As usual i have taken a flippin' age to post the 2nd part of this game report. I'm not angry with myself....just disappointed......

Good 'ol pixies!!!!

    Right, on with the report, you can read the first part  Here:


  Mallagor could move when he needed to, despite his great age he ran faster than the rest of the line of troops muttering 'ohshitohshitohshit' repeatedly under his breath as he did so, but when a wizards library of ancient arcane texts and spell books are in danger it turns out he will move heaven and earth to protect it. He reached the shadow of the first ruined watchtower before even the scouts could get there, the tower (one of a pair known locally as the Sentinals, once joined by a fortified wall several miles long in ages past) loomed large and mercenary free before him. he stopped and pressed his back against the cold stone, trying to catch his breath. Sargent Caprill rode up to him moments later. ''Well you can shift my lord' he giggled 'i never saw a man out run a cavalry squadron before'. 'Well...good..sir..' Panted the mage ' here...first..' he tried to continue. 'What?, before them?' asked Caprill pointing to the far tower. Mallagor peered around the wall only to be met with the sight of a black and white clad horde of mean looking soldiers advancing in the distance....then he threw up.

To battle!. For this game i used my modified version of 'One Hour Wargames' by Neil Thomas with a few extra ideas i wanted to try out as well:

  The turn sequence was changed to a combined activation phase where each player takes turns to move or shoot with a unit, innitutive was rolled each turn. If a unit with a commander is activating any friendly unit within 6'' can also activate.  
  Combat was rolled for by both sides in the combat phase, my morale rules were used meaning the lowest scoring side in a combat was required to test at the end of the phase.
Magic can only be used by wizards who roll 1d3+1 spells before battle.

The forces:

Mallagors 'oi you, put that scroll back'.....errr.....force

It consisted of:
Mallagor, a wizard,
Sargent Caprill and his herald Sir Barry,
1 Unit of Knights, 1 Unit of Foot Knights, 2 Units of Leve, 1 Unit of Men at Arms, 2 Units of Cavalry, 1 Unit of Archers and 1 Unit of Skirmishers.

The Black Rats Magic book liberation squad:
They had:
C.C. Bathion, leader of the Black rats,
Gavin the Grey, wizard of incredible dullness,
2x Units of Men at Arms, 2x Units of Archers, 1 Unit of Knights, 1 Unit of Cavalry,  1 Unit of Skirmishers and Clive the Ogre.

The Battlefield, the towers are the titular Sentinals, ruined watchtowers under which lies Mallagors no longer hidden magical library!. They are the objective of the game, both sides need to control the towers to win.

Both sides had control of one of the towers at the start of the battle.

 The Black Rats set up with their horse ready to attack the oppositions tower, crossbows in support.

 Their center consisted of the Sentinal protected on both sides by Men at Arms and Clive.

This force was supported by Archers and Skirmishers.

 Mallagor ordered his Knights and Cavalry to the left with Skirmishers to their flank.

 The center was held by Mallagor and the Leve with crossbow support.

The right was held by The foot knights (the purple palace guard no less!) supported by Men at arms and more Cavalry.

 The battle began with the Black Rats advancing, only the crossbows on the hill held position.

 Mallagor held back the Leve but had the Right advance towards the far tower.

The following turn started with a bang as the Horse of the Black Rats slammed into the Opposing horse, supported by Clive who was transported by a 'Swarthy Stevens Spell of unusually swift swiftness!'
 Breaking the Knights!!.

 In reply the royal troops attacked the Black Rats at the tower.

 The Black Rats Crossbows engaged the Skirmishers in the woods in an archery duel, causing the skirmishers to bolt!.

 Having chased off the Knights Clive and his horse riding mates turned their attentions on Mallagor and the Leve.

 With predictable results.

 At the other tower the Royal forces made a breakthrough

But so did the Rats!.

 Causing a scrum between the remaining troops....

 Which the archers lost....spectacularly!!!!.

 C.C Bathions Knights finally saw off the royal horse.

 The situation at the end of the battle.

 One tower remained in the balance.....
....while the other was firmly under the Black Rats control.

  So a marginal win for the worlds most vile and twattish mercenaries, looks like Mallagor will need to buy his library back!. All the minis are from kallistra, i like them a lot.......

......'till next time......

Sunday, 12 January 2020

Hey G.W. are you feeling alright??.

Good old Games workshop, peddlers of fine 32mm (snigger) miniatures at hugely inflated prices who at one point we're a hub of great original ideas and fun games. I think someone at g.w. hq needs to hand round the smelling salts because they have done the impossible, they have released something that could be considered to be...wait for it....a bargain!!!!!.

For the princely sum of £2.99 you get the above bits as an intro to the Age of Smeg...err Sigmar setting. Now I'm no huge fan of the setting, it's high fantasy styling goes a bit too far for my taste, I like my fantasy with a cheek stuffed full of tongue (you may have noticed) for me Age of Doodah goes through parody and into bloated chin stroking bollocks that seems to actually take itself seriously but that's just my personal opinion you understand. So why is this loss leading little bundle of interest on this wee bloggington?. Well the magazine and poster can be filed in the bin, the ruler is surplus to requirements, the dice could be handy I 'spose but it's the minis that caught my limited attention span. I know, I know, above rantings may make this sound a bit odd but £3 for 13 32mm (I don't care what they say they sell 32mm!!) Minis is pretty good and the ghost type bobbins (of which you get 10) are bloody nice and could be quite useful to a fantasy gamer, working in several scales. Expect to see them on these pages soon. Even the Smeg marines could be used for something (status or huge titanic types in 2-10mm?).  You can pick a copy up in newsagents and supermarkets in the uk (god I've been reduced to shilling G.W!) But be quick, they did the same with a 40k set last year leading to the fanboy crowd hoovering them up for cheep space marines (and so did the online traders meaning eBay was rammed full of the same sprue no one wanted!).

Anyway enough of this G.W stuff, normal service will be resumed shortly.......

.....'till next time.....

Sunday, 5 January 2020

Blood at the sentinals pt 1

I decided to kick off the new year with a battle report. I still have my 2mm campaign going on (more of this soon) but decided on a change of pace this time out. I have recently been fleshing out my 12mm medieval fantasy forces so decided to give them a run out for a change. It also let me change the setting for a mo, i decided it was time to visit

 As i made this header about a year ago and have done nothing with it since!. Its also a good excuse to try out some of my mods for One Hour Wargames. As far as the setting goes i have no fixed plans as yet but think it would work for the 12mm stuff and also let me draw some of my previous narratives and ideas into one place (sort of consolidating my many fantasy bits into one easy to manage setting).....but first......

Kind of like the MC5 fronted by a really angry Tina Turner!.


   'What in the name of the gods can he want now?' thought Mallagor as he approached the gigantic, highly polished gold doors that lead to the Kings throne room. The guards nodded to him as he passed, giving the signal for the doors to be opened. With a dramatic THUNK the locking mechanism was disengaged and the doors swung open in an improbably smooth motion. As Mallagor entered the room, beginning the long walk along the opulent purple carpet that marked the path to the base of the dias upon which stood the massive and frankly over the bloody top golden jewel encrusted throne. As he passed many footmen, courtiers, knights and purple clad guards the page of clear announcements (actual job title) read aloud the prepared list of accomplishments attributed to Mallagor as an introduction to the court. 'HERE WALKS MALLAGOR THE WISE, KEEPER OF THE KINGS MAGICS, COMPILER OF OCCULT ITEMS, PROTECTOR OF THE REALM, CURATOR OF THE LIBRARY OF THE UNKNOWN WRITINGS, LORD OF THE WESTERNMARK, ADVISER TO THE CROWN, HEAD OF THE ORDER OF ROYAL MAGICS, FAILED MAMMOTH HUNTER AND ALL ROUND BEARDED TIT....' The last bits caused a titter of laughter around the room from the more prominent nobles, Mallagor cursed himself as he reddened as he always did at this point, he sped up to try to get to the throne. 'Mallagor, finally pulled yourself away from your potions to grace us with your presence i see!' Boomed king Pharrus from his royal seat as the wizard bowed before him. Mallagor rose and looked up at the king who he noted was still as large as ever, as red faced as ever, as stupidly overdressed as ever and...well thats new, the King had a visible smirk playing across his not so tiny cheeks. 'We are being probed Mallagor' boomed king Pharrus, 'Probed sire?' replied the wizard. 'Invaded' offered the King by way of explanation, the smirk still playing across his face. 'Invaded my liege?, but who would dare?' answered Mallagor. 'Its those vile currs the  Black Rats, they are as we speak making headway into the west, they burned several of our boarder villages on the way in and are' the king was almost holding back a chuckle 'we think headed towards the Sentinals as we speak'. As he finished the King put his hand over his mouth to stifle a laugh. Mallagor stood confused for a moment. He answered 'But do we know why sire?, the black rats are mercenaries, who could be behind this attack?, who would dare invade in such a brazen fashion?'. 'We..' the King tried not to laugh 'we....don't..(another stifle)...we don't......know Mallagor'. The Wizard became aware that there were audible snorts and small chortles among the courtiers as the King spoke, as he looked back at the King he could see him shaking, like a child trying to hold back a fit of the giggles. 'Could it be Aagraxx up to his tricks again your highness?, maybe its Lord Yanic and those troublesome northmen, perhaps it may be...' Malagors musings were interrupted by a huge snort from the king who finally could hold back no longer and collapsed into a fit of  laughter. 'NO MALLAGOR' the king exclaimed between laughs 'IT WAS ME! I HIRED THEM!'. The rest of the court exploded into laughter as Mallagors head swam. 'What?, he said trying to make himself heard, 'why would you do that, the Black Rats are mean, dangerous and all together....well....complete bastards sire!, why would you hire them...and to attack..did you say the west?' Mallagors face fell '...i'm Lord of the West...what the hell is going on?'. The king tried to pull himself together, he sort of almost succeeded 'You know how you said you were worried in case we were invaded, you know, you thought the troops were getting lazy, not battle ready and all that what with it being so quiet?'. 'Yes' replied Mallagor, dreading where this was going. 'Well we dec..(the giggles returned to the King)...'we decided to help out and stage kind of...what would you call it...a kind of training exercise if you like.(snort..) I...(chortle)..I hired the Rats anonymously you see...(giggle)..told them your library could be reached through (chuckle) a secret door under one of the Sentinals...thought it would (snort, chuckle...giggle..)...would give you a chance to get your troops up to speed in case anything should actually know...for real'. Concern overcame Mallagor. 'But sire, my Library CAN be reached through a secret door under one of the Sentinals, i told you that not two weeks ago!. 'Ah, thats where that came from, knew it rang a bell' laughed the king and the rest of the court, who were now in hysterics. 'You better run along and see nothing happens then you pop, take some Palace guard with you if you like' said the king to the back of the wizard who was already half way out the door. The king rose to address the court who were now in uproar 'Well he could have said thank you at just cant please some people........'

 Report to follow.......'till next time......

Tuesday, 31 December 2019


Well then, this is the first time i have felt compelled to look back over the blogging year that was. Normally i'm content to keep moving on with whichever project i am mucking about with at the time, my focus is rarely on the stuff i have done, more on the bits i plan to do, this year has been a little different.......

......but first!

                                                              'Punky art wank' as a friend once described it.......

So 2019, to review:

   The year started with without doubt the THE WORST BATTLE REPORT I HAVE EVER WRITTEN!. Looking back i cant believe i actually thought it was o.k. to post on the was and is bollocks of the highest order.

Crap, moving on.....

   The start of the year was not all bad. I fleshed out my Olde Albilande setting by coming up with some adaptations for these fine rules:
 And fluffed up the background for two of the shires within the setting. 
 I failed to realize at the time but i was rapidly entering a short period of what alot of peeps have called a loss of hobby Mojo, a general feeling of fuggishness snuffing out my enthusiasm for gaming and blogging....'twas well shite. I spent the rest of the winter under a cloud of notbotheredness not even picking up a mini until a family trip to:

    came around, cue several roller coasters, pool days, theme parks and general R&R and i have to say i returned home with a fair amount of 'pep' in general. Which lead to the impossible.....

a miniature?......with paint on?....wait a mo.....

  Thats right, Wronghammer went technicolour!!. My new found vigor found me trying things i had never considered before, such as painting figures. I had never enjoyed painting before but i found the new more relaxed, more enthusiastic Sprinks actually kind of liked it!. However it was almost derailed by my natural cheepskatery butting heads with the price of miniature paints but that was soon fixed by a quick Google and a Video by some bloke called Luke.
 Thank you Sir , you proud son of the north!.

Which resulted in me going from never painting to mixing a whole home made paintset!.

Another happenstance from the return from the sun was the birth of the newest Wronghammer institution:
 An excuse for me to inflict my poor taste in music on you all EVERY TIME I POST MWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!!!!!. You're welcome internet!!!!.

  With me painting again i felt a new project was in order. This was soon almost scuppered by an exploration into the pricing of modern miniatures and the frankly BLOODY NOBBING ASTRONOMICAL cost of getting into 'official' minis for most companies game systems. Cue a challenge:

 The gauntlet was thrown down and duly picked up by some fine fellows who all put their own inspired spin on the completion of said task. Check out the amazing efforts by Maudlin Jack Tar , Springinsfeld and Peter. For my part i made an order to the fantastic .kallistra and over the course of a few months (and for the princely sum of £22.40)  the Black Rats mercenary company were born:

Boo, Hiss....eerrr etc.

  This was a real milestone for me as they were the first army i had ever finished painting! I then failed to start a pastry based fantasy medieval campaign with them...ho hum....(more on this later).

What did happen was my 'wargamers nature' kicked in and i started another revisiting one i had started earlier!:

Only this time i went all out gonzo pike and shotte meets steampunk in a made up historic period that never 2mm scale!!.

i never claimed to be sensible!.

The project has turned out to be a huge success in my eyes, i have painted 4 forces so far, adapted an old rule set (g.w.s old epic space marine system) and launched the campaign, two battle reports  have book ended the year, hopefully making up for the crappy one it began with.....

And Berkshire all completed and ready to go!.

 And thats not all. Today i even managed to finish daubing paint in the vague direction of the last of my Kallistra armies (i've been keeping this one on the back burner):

This lot...more about these in the new year....big plans afoote!!.

 Other things of note from the years bloggery:



 A git (crimson),






......and a unicorn shark!.........

      .......'till next year......