The Hassles of Hoff: Horror at High Tide pt2

     It took a while but its done!, the first full battle report of my new setting is here! (see here, here and here for details). It feels that everything is starting to get some meat on its bones with places in....er.....well, place and an overall feel starting to settle, hopefully the following will add a little to it. Work is taking a lot of my attention at the mo as i am undergoing some rather drastic training as i am changing my career path quite dramatically at the mo so i have not been able to get all my ideas down on this lill' blog o' mine, i had hoped to be elbow deep in campaign games but im still setting the scene somewhat, hopefully one more post to that effect will allow things to kick off all proper like!. However, for now its the on going 'side project' for the new setting which i hope to use to give a more 'personal' view from the ground in Albilande circa 1354 rather than the grander political scale of the war of 4 kings to come. Anyhow im gabbling so without further ado, i give you:

Episode 1 (pt2): horror at high tide!

(you can read part 1 here)

  As the dark shapes moved quietly through the ebbing waves at the edge of the shore Sgt Hoff raised his right hand, a sign his men understood to mean 'hold ground'. Hoff got those old familiar butterflies in his gut as he observed the enemies advance, knowing the carnage that was to come. He allowed the raiders to keep coming, he lent forward in his saddle, his arm held, his men standing in silence, still he let them come on, further up.... further.... soon the time would be at hand, only a matter of moments. The tension was palpable, the air hung with nerves and adrenaline, weighing down on the fighting cocks, still he let them come.....and come, soon it would be too late, soon i... **AATCCCHHHHOOOO!!!!**. The raiders froze, confusion etched across their weather beaten faces. Hoff dropped his hand and spun in his saddle. 'Right who was that?' he demanded, he spun back to the raiders who were looking forward into the gloom trying to see who or what had spoken. 'Sorry, do you mind if we have a brief moment?', he spun back around to face his men. 'I want to know right now who sneezed, step forward that man!'. The famous fearless fighting cocks stared at their collective boots and mumbled. 'Come on' barked Hoff  'I want to know who it was, we are not starting this battle until the culprit owns up!'.

There was some shoving and muttering in the archers ranks until a small slight man of advancing years was shoved forward 'it were me sarge' he mumbled looking down like a scolded child, 'i got sand up in me 'ooter an' i coulden' 'old it no more'. Hoff stared right through him for a moment that must of felt like hours to the recipient. 'Look, stoaty Dave is it?, im not angry Dave, its just we had a clear plan and now the element of surprise is gone. It was going to be so dramatic, so, i don't know.....heroic, oh and you may as well light the torches i think the moment has passed on that one don't you?', One by one in dribs and drabs flames began to appear in the fighting cocks line,almost appologeticaly  illuminating the beach and the two sides on it. 

(Sgt Hoff on Trevor between the spear units)

(Ginger leading the bows)

The confusion on the faces of the raiders turned to anger as they took in the scene before them. In place of an empty beach and an easy, sleepy town to plunder they were faced with a line of armed men!.

('Big' Bear Maloy leading the horse known as 'The rampant Cocks!')

 A brute of a man from within their ranks stepped forward, his beard speckled grey, his armor inlaid with gold and gems. he lifted a wicked and ornate battle axe and yelled 'Ranks ya bastards, get in ya bloody ranks, these clowns are goonie whish theys nevva stood before the likesa us!'. Quickly his men formed up into three warbands of neatly ranked lines. with a clunk of wood on wood they locked shields.

 'Oh yes' replied Hoff with a shout, 'very impressive, of course you are outnumbered, you have no horse and you have your backs to the sea. May i suggest you use your boats to kindly, if you don't mind of course, piss off and leave the good people of  Sandycrece alone'. The leader of the raiders stepped forward and hollered a reply, 'we maybe oot numbered an' we may have nay horse but we doo have thus' as soon as he finished Hoff could see something moving at the back of the enemy line, something big.....no wait, massive....and shiny....and wet. It was moving, being dragged up the beach by rope lines it seemed to struggle against. At least ten, no twelve thick set northmen were struggling to get the...er.....thing, what was it?, it looked like a....no wait it was...A GIANT MAN EATING SEA CRAB!!!!. 

(Pound shop special for Sgt Hoff!!)

The leader of the raiders stepped forward again. 'Noo theres one more thing ta say'. 'Whats that my good man? ' Replied Hoff. The big raider lifted his axe and smiled. 'CHARGE!!!'.

 The line of Northmen followed the order and ran screaming up the beach, somehow keeping formation as they came. The Fighting Cocks archers let fly at Gingers command but still they came on!.

Bear trotted forward for a better view of the line, he struggled to hold back a smile when he saw the raiders colours. 'White an' bloo, Clan bloody Mallarch, those bastards gonna get whats commin at last!' he said to himself. He flung his arm back towards the Rampant Cocks, 'Hold now bhoys, wait for tha word an we'll mince these arseholes!'.

As one the raiders came to an abrupt halt before the Cocks line. Their leader stepped forward and spat on the sand at his feet. He looked Sgt Hoff in the eye and shouted 'SEE YOUZ YA SOUTHERN PANSY, WHY NOT COME DOON HERE AN' SEE IF YOUZ IS UP TA FACIN ME MAN TA MAN, OR ARE YA SHITTIN IT BACK THERE BEHIND YA GIRLY FRIENDS?'. Sgt hoff lowered his visor. 'Well im not having that, hes gone and got my dander right up and no mistake!, come Trevor, lets teach this scallywag some blimming manors!'. With that Hoff charged!.

And despite suffering a glancing blow cleaved a bloody streak into the big norsemans gut!. The raider fell on the sand, now crimson from his blood. He looked up at Hoff one last time and grinned, he then slumped motionless on the beach. Elated from his victory Hoff looked at the enemy line. They seemed quite a bit closer than they were a moment ago!

 'Cripes and Lummie!!!!'

 Wasting no time he raised his axe and swept his arm forwards, the sign for the Fighting Cocks to....

CHARGE!!!!!!!

The charge was devastating, the norsemen were thrown back in disorder by the rampant cocks and the warband on the left routed in the face of the charge.

'Right thats us away eh?'

The warriors facing the GIANT MAN EATING SEA CRAB however took heavy losses and beat a tactical retreat!.

While he was turned in his saddle directing the mele strong hands grabbed Hoff around the waist and dragged him from Trevor!, Hoff hit out wildly at his attacker drawing blood. He turned to see the raiders banner bearers blade strike him in the head!, shocked and surprised Hoff fell back onto his rump, his final thought being 'here we go again!' as the raider ran him through!.

The end of a hero!!.

The raider raised the banner with a cheer, however his joy was short lived as a peed off Trevor turned his back on him and delivered a swift kick!, the banner fell to the sand along with its bearer as a smug Trevor trotted off!.

 Seeing the GIANT MAN EATING SEA CRAB massacre the warriors Bear drew his sword. 'Right ya over grown bottom feedin bastard yous gonna be feedin a whole lotta cocks the night!!, Get the butter lads its crab for breakfast!'. With that he charged headlong at the beast!.

 Meanwhile, Ginger had seen his Sargent fall!. With tears filling his eyes and rage in his heart he pounded down from the dunes to defend his body.

Over on the other side of the battle bear was getting the best of the GIANT MAN EATING SEA CRAB which decided to scuttle off in the direction of the shoreline. Bear grabbed at a rent in his side the Crab had torn in him with one of its wicked pincers and waved a hand at the rampant cocks. 'Go on lads, take the big wanker doon!!'. As one man the horse charged towards the crab as it scuttled away from the torch light!.

'ere Steve is thousand island sauce really just ketchup and mayo?'

 As the battle turned both Bear and Ginger charged into the mele between the warriors and the last surviving warband, sending the final northmen running back down the beach!.

And with that the battle was over. The surviving cocks removed their helmets and sunk into the sand to try to gather themselves together. With a whoop the Rampants rode back to the line dragging a very dead GIANT MAN EATING SEA CRAB behind them. Most of the men were laughing and joking, relief evident in their tone, all but the youngest of their number who walked slowly up the beach to where the body of Sgt Hoff was sprawled. Ginger gently lifted his lifeless head and removed his helm, he stroked his cold sweat soaked hair with tenderness fighting back tears. Bear came up along side him, placed his gigantic hand on the young squires shoulder. There they remained in silence while around them one by one the rest of the Fighting Cocks slowly gathered in the waning torch light to pay their respects to their fallen leader.  

 Well thats that project knackered then!!.

......'till next time!........

New project alert!!!!

Having almost completed my self inflicted task of the last 5 months (see here for full stupid details!) i decided it was time to do something that actually required getting some minis, you know...... on the table!! (what with this being a gaming blog n' all!!). So having waited for an idea to whopp me around the head i am finally ready to embark on a narrative campaign!! (yay!). As i'm playing solo i will use the games played to further the narrative but have some plot points i fancy including. I will almost be writing a story rather than producing scenarios based on previous results. So without further ado i present part 1 of part 1 (part 2 of part 1 to follow!) of.............

(ooohhh, someones had a play with paint!!!)

EPISODE 1: HORROR AT HIGH TIDE!

  Sgt Hoff shifted in his saddle, his warhorse Trevor padded at the wet sand. Both could feel the tension in the air. The Wind whipped at his sir coat, ruffling it against his breastplate. Sand peppered the old warriors beard and mighty eyebrows and forced him to raise his calloused hand to shield his eyes. To either side his men stretched along the beach forming a wall of bow and spear...waiting for whatever dangers the tide would bring. Hoff glared into the darkness. He had ordered his men to put out their torches so the enemy could not see his men until they had landed, the moonlight being all but obscured by the heavy clouds that refused to clear. For now the sea was quiet but he knew it was only a matter of time......

  'Copper for 'em sir' came a familiar voice from beside him as a young man trotted up along side Hoff, breaking his train of thought. 'Ah Ginger' exclaimed Set Hoff, turning to regard the baby faced youth beside him, 'i trust the men are ready for the battle?'. 'Yes Sir' replied the lad smartly 'All braced and rearing to go'. 'Good to hear it Ginger, and you, are you ready?, these Northmen are a feisty lot when their bloods up'. 'Al' second that' Came a gruff voice from the other side of Hoff, both Hoff and Ginger turned in their saddles to see the giant form of Bear Maloy ride over to them. 'We used te pick ah teeth wi' scrawny streeks o' nothin like you laddie'.  'Bear, glad to have you along for this one i can tell you' offered Hoff in greeting, The large bearded form of Bear nodded his approval.

'I do have to say sir' Interrupted Ginger 'that i still think it would be better to ambush them as they come up the beach, hide in the brush and use the element of surprise and all'. 'No Ginger, the townsfolk are paying us to send a message not skulk around, need i remind you you are a member of the famous Fighting Cocks, not a common bushwacker!' Replied Sgt Hoff with a tone of finality in his voice. 'Ah know these Bastards betta than any a' ya' snorted bear, 'Trust me when i says these wankers need to be met heed on, theys only respect muscle, you go jumpin 'em they'll be back wi' there mates, tey'll no respect that. Youz gotta meet them face on and prove youz tougher then they are!'.  'In this instance as any i thank you for your counsel mr Maloy, besides it takes one to know one and all that' offered Hoff in reply, twisting his mustache as he spoke, 'we'd better be ready so lets all be clear, we let them ditch the boats and come up the beach, they wont see us until they are close, then we light the torches and tell them to do one and leave the town alone'. 'Jeez, thats nowt but pissin in the wind if youz askin' spat Bear. 'I know, i know' continued Hoff 'but the townsfolk are paying for protection so we need to make it clear what we are here for, besides we insisted on payment up front so we need to put on a show. no ones to engage until i give the signal. Now, to your places one and all and lets make a fight of it!'. Bear lowered his Visor with a curt grunt and unfurled the company banner, A grey bantam on a  crisp white field, he turned and galloped off to the spear block raising a cheer from them, banner held high as he went. 'Good luck Sarge' chimed Ginger as he drew his sword and turned to trot away. 'And to you young man' replied Hoff as he went, and to himself he added 'your farther already wants my blood, try not to give him another excuse....' Hoff turned towards the dark shore trying to get that fateful night at Ballant Keep from his mind.....then he saw them, dark shapes snaking quietly through the water, their thin hulls braking the surf with little effort. Boats, at least 4 of them, a chill went down his spine as he lowered his helm over his head and made ready for the carnage to come........ 

So thats it so far, i hope to get it played soon but i have just started another training course at work that will take the lions share of my attention for awhile but fear not, i will get to it as soon as i can!!!. As far as rules go im planning on using Iron Winds Chaos Wars reboot for the campaign but it will depend on how things go and which directions i choose to go in.

....Anyway, im excited to be getting a bit more focus on gaming (he says having yet to actually start the gaming yet!!). 'Till next time......

Of life and distractions

Hi all. In the last post i mentioned the next post would be doing something special......well....um....still planning to and all that but, well, life and all that stuff have put their heads together to ensure that has gone on the back burner for now. In fact gaming related stuff in general has gone a bit quieter, but not dried up totally thank the dice gods (i always thought they hated me as well!).
First off, these new old school beauties turned up!.

Actually it was the first three books not the ones shown but you get the idea!.

These are the iron wind redos of the original ral partha rules and they are very cool,  kind of the middle ground between oldhammer and lion/dragon rampant. They have greater flexibility in force creation and representing different troop types on the table than the rampants but play quickly and cleanly like those newer systems and don't tend to 'bog down' like every edition of warhammer ever!. Also they use a set unit size that is the same as the sizes used in the rampants so forces for one system will transfer to the other. Anyway i have been giving them a spin of late when time has permitted and am enjoying them. If i get my life back anytime soon i will try to use them for a game report.

Also although i have not been gaming i did win a huge lot of minis on the dreaded bay of e at a very reasonable price ( judging by the fact that Mrs Sprinks only swore a bit, the mark against which i judge the cost of all my ebay halls!) that i think fill in the gaps i had remaining for the setting i am building so de-spruing, gluing and basing have been filling in those tiny gaps of free time we all take for granted.

Lastly the summer hols are here so the demands of distracting the sprinklings has taken its toll on the free time me and mrs Sprinks normally get to enjoy however gaming has won some brownie points here as i banged together a quick set of rules to get the imps tablewards and much fun resulted!. 

 Hopefully more gaming sessions may occur (and if the rules actually stand up to the stresses of the table i may post them for you to use with your own sproglettes). They even looked interested when i explained we could link games to make a story called a campaign! (i will turn them to the dark side!). 

Anyhoo, just a quick update to show that hobby stuff has yet to die here at cassa del Sprinks (but is a little bit sniffly)......Till next time!.