Soloquest: Thieving BA*&$RDS!!!!!! AAR (part 2)

Welcome back to the longest running solo Heroquest game report in the world ( possibly), you cant have failed to have noticed that this is part 2 of the report, but not only is there a part 1 (found here) but also an intro come prologue thingy (which can be found here). Its best to read the prologue before part one, which means i have just put them the wrong way round.......cos im a tool.
Also after a little back and forth in the comments section in part one i have pledged to get some well known film quotes into this part of the report after a rather fun and not too serious challange from the fine and upstanding Mr Duc de Goblin and Mr Maudlin Jack Tar. They have requested i get the following in somewhere:
'you'll 'ave someone's eye out with that thing'
'Put that thing away, before you get us all killed .'
 "In my experience there is no such thing as luck"
.....er thanks gents!. If i manage to get these in i will reward myself with a cold beer after posting this!.
Right enough with the blather.....

   ........We left our 'heros' within the comfy and well lit stronghold of Dunpillagin, the home of a band of adventurers guilty of raiding and overturning the dungeon lair of Villaraxxx, a local Chaos wizard. Peeved with the constant home invasions Villaraxxx and his remaining hench...er....folk have decided to put the boot on the other foot and are now roaming the halls, looking for revenge!. Currently the party have killed one of the foul home wreckers in the the form of the enemy wizard but need to hunt down the elf, dwarf and barbarian that continue to raid the groups' home. The party have happened across a dwarf longbeard with a bloody massive hammer who has managed to kill one of the party, the Firmir Cyglax and is blocking the path taunting our brave heros..........

'THATS 'IM DONE!' shouted the ugly old dwarf, 'LETS 'AVE THE REST O' YA!'. The party stood in shock. 'WHATS WRONG, CANT STAND UP TO OL' STUMPY AN' 'IS 'AMMER?'. As the dwarf taunted them Goretex remembered the scrap of paper he had found, he began to recite the words. 'mmhhmm, mmmm, mmhhmmhh, mhhh. All the sound seemed to get sucked from the room and time around the hulking Chaos warrior slowed to a stand still, a magical miasma appeared before Goretex which slowly took on the shape of a giant glowing man. 'WHAT DO YOU BID MASTER?' the magical being asked. 'MMHHH MHMHMH, MMMMHHH HM MMHHH!!' ordered Goretex pointing to the dwarf. 'A WEDGIE AND A CHINESE BURN?' replied the figure, 'MASTER ASKS MUCH FROM ME, BUT YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND!'. Time seemed to speed up to catch up with itself as the dwarf stood taunting the group. Suddenly he pulled a face as his feet left the ground sharply. he then gave a yell and dropped his hammer, gripping his wrist in pain. 'MMH MMMMMHHHH!' shouted Goretex and the dwarfs head was pulled from his shoulders by unseen hands and flung against the wall!. The dwarfs body slumped to the floor.

'OOOOWWWWW!!! me poor crack!!....

The party stood in shock trying to make sense of what had happened. Villaraxxx turned to face Goretex who gave a smug shrug of his shoulder pads. 'Is that an old parchment with a spell to raise a Genie by any chance?' he asked, peering at the crumpled page in Goretexes huge glove. Goretex gave a look that said 'might be'. 'Well put that thing away before you get us all killed.......you massive metal bell end, leave the magic to the experts!'. Villaraxxx ignored the sobbing Snivles hunched over the corpse of Cyglax and walked over to the chest. He opened it and let out a sardonic chuckle. 'Hey lads, look' he said holding up a small glass bottle with a clear liquid inside. ' What is it boss'?' snivles asked, wiping his nose on the back of his wrist. 'Its a potion of bloody healing thats what!'. 

The party moved on to the next area of the stronghold, Coming to a door the party pulled up, cautious after the 'hammer wielding nutter' incident. 'Snivles, be a love and open that door would you' ordered Villaraxxx. The small goblin cowered away 'i..i...donts want to master, dont hurt me....its all dangerous....i dont want to be all dead like Cyglax......master please!'. All right, all right stop cringing like that....Goretex, be a dear...'. The big chaos warrior strode towards the door with his axe raided. He gave a knock and ran, pushing Snivles over on the way!. The door was opened by a flushed and rather miffed looking dwarf warrior doing up his belt.

 'What the flippin eck does you want?' he said lowering his axe at the prone goblin. For a moment Snivles lay still shaking with fear before he jumped to his feet and loosed his sling at the dwarf taking him by surprise and catching him on the temple. A look of confusion passed across the dwarfs face, he swayed for what seemed like an age before he crumpled and fell, 'Lucky shot' snapped Villaraxxx as he walked up to the goblin. 'Wellllll' began Snivles puffing out his chest, 'in my experience theres no such thing as OOWWW!!!!!!' he finished as Goretex cuffed him as he passed!. Villaraxxx entered the room. 'Look. a cupboard, i wonder whats inside?' he asked as he pulled it open. To his surprise a half naked hairy dwarf sprung out swearing loudly and swinging at Villarax, wounding him. Snivvles dived at the dwarf, running him through!. 'And you can shut up about that one too!'. snapped Villaraxxx, blushing. Snivles kicked the dead dwarf, 'i wonder what they were up oowww bossssss!!!!' he blurted as Goretex grabbed him by the ear and bundled him on. Goretex threw Snivles at the next door, splitting it to reveal.....

'ITS THAT BLOODY ELF!' 

The elf looked round at the attackers and drew his blade. 'I thought i killed you yesterday, never mind i can finish the job now!'. He threw himself at Goretex with a girly war cry just to bounce off the breast plate of the massive hulk. Goretex buried his axe into the elf, forcing it far into his head. The elf was dead!.

'Nice one Goretex' said Villaraxxx as he stood over the elf, 'i bloody love you!'. The Chaos warrior replied with a shrug that could only say 'i know'. 'Cheeky bastard, right two more to find guys, lets get 'em'. The party smashed their way into the next room, they were met by two dwarves leveling rifles at them!, Villaraxxx and Goretex were too wound up to care and bundled into the gunners before they could fire, killing them both!

'RRRAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!.......oh look, chests!'

Opening the two chests in the room Snivles discovered a flagon of Heroic brew!, in Goretex's chest however....

A dwarf sprung from the chest, taking the Warrior by surprise and wounding him!. Angered Goretex struck the dwarf with the back of his gauntlet, the dwarf slumped back into the chest!. Quickly Snivles darted forward and locked him in. 'These dwarves are bloody mental' said Villaraxxx shaking his head as he walked.

The party moved on to the next room.'Right, if anyone sees a chest or cupboard or bloody....i dont know....bed side table...and i cant believe im saying this....check for dwarves!' ordered Villaraxxx as he opened the room.....

The room contained an archer ready to fire....and a bloody BARBARIAN....er...hiding behind him!. The archer let fly, the arrow shot past the party and slammed into the wall behind them!. 'Oi' shouted Villaraxxx  'you'll 'ave someones eye out with that thing!, Goretex, if you dont mind!'. The warrior walked up to the quivering archer and lifted him of the floor, turned and flung him against the same wall his arrow was stuck in!. Before Goretex could turn the Barbarian forced his sword through his back!, Goretex staggered towards his friends. 'No...no...not again..' muttered Snivles as he produced his Heroic brew and took a large swig. 'NOT LIKE CYGLAX AGAIN!!!' he screamed as he flung himself at the muscle bound warrior!. With a laugh the Barbarian side stepped the Goblin and swung his sword at him. Snivles backed off. 'Not like that you little green knob!' said Villaraxxx with a hint of disgust in his voice, He produced his own potion of strength. He downed the green liquid, wiped his mouth and fixed the Barbarian with a cold glare...'LIKE THIS!!!!' He walked towards the warrior and drew his dagger, the barbarian eyed the blade, moving his huge sword to parry. Villaraxxx used the distraction to punch the shaggy warrior full in the face and through the wall behind him!. 'Yippie kie yay moth.....oh sorry, wrong franchise!' he quipped as he smoothed his robes. Snivles attempted to pull The wounded Goretex to his feet which went as well as you would expect!.

'Right, wheres the bloody dwarf!!!.......

Snivles opened the next door to find...

A table, an archer, a dwarf warrior and.... the dwarf adventurer!. Snivles wastes no time firing his sling at the dwarf before him and hits him in the face!, the dwarf falls!, Villaraxxx charges the archer as he is about to loose at snivles, knocking him down and killing him!. Only the last adventurer remains!. 'RIGHT, I WANT A BLOODY WORD WITH YOU YOU BEARDY, CHAVVY, SCRUFFY LOOKING HOUSE BREAKER!!!!!' screamed Villaraxxx. The Dwarf raised his huge axe. 'OOS SCRUFFY LOOKIN?' he replied as he charged into the Chaos wizard, knocking him off his feet. 'NOOOO!!!!' shouted Snivles as he rushed the dwarf. 'YOU LEAVE MY MASTER ALONE!!!'. The dwarf laughed as snivles bounced off him. the Dwarf heft his axe and swung it in a deadly arc... and Snivles fell to the floor in a crumpled heap of dead!.

Poor Snivles!!!

Although still injured an enraged Goretex lumbered forward to avenge his little friend. He swung at the dwarf, connecting with a glancing blow but unable to keep his balance he stumbled forward!., the dwarf took his chance and brought up his blade under the Chaos warriors chin!.

Goretex falls!

The dwarf laughed as he pulled his axe free and strode towards the winded and wounded Villaraxxx. 'Thought you lot could be heros did ye?, hehe, thats the most stupid thing i ever 'erd, you lot are the bad guys, you only exist to give us proper heros something to kill!!', now stay still while i takes your bloody 'ed off!!!.' Villaraxxx got to one knee and pulled a potion from inside his robes. He uncorked it and took a long pull on the sticky liquid inside. 'Whatever that is, it wont save you now' grinned the dwarf as he took another step. 'Oh i think it might' answered Villaraxxx coldly as he finished his potion of healing.'You can't win Dwarf, if you strike me down i ....i....I'LL BLOODY GET YOU!' The dwarf took a step back as his mouth dropped open. The Wizards wounds began to heal up, his cuts knitted back together even his bruses vanished. Villaraxxx pulled himself up to his full height. 'YOU SMASHED UP MY HOME' he shouted pacing toward the dwarf, forcing him back. 'YOU STOLE MY STUFF' he continued as the stepped back again. 'YOU ACT AS IF YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO PUSH US AROUND!' he said as he stalked forward another step, the dwarf tried to step away but found himself against the wall. 'AND YOU....KILLED...MY.......FRIENDS!!!' he screamed as he plunged his blade into the dwarfs belly. A look of confusion crossed the dwarfs face as he slipped down the wall '......but im the hero.....im 'posed...... to.......win.......' The dwarfs head slumped forward. 'Right', said Villaraxxx. 'Wheres the bloody stairs....'

Right, i reckon its time for that beer!.....till next time......

Soloquest: Thieving BA*&$RDS!!!!!! AAR (part 1)

 I managed to get this one played within a week of writing the prologue!, go me!. This report will have to be split into 2 parts because its rather large and will need a lot of pictures to describe the action (really, a lot!).

  Cyglax ripped the ivy from the old stout wooden door with a grunt. 'Are you sure this is the secret door?' Villaraxxx asked Snivles. The goblin shrunk back under his masters gaze 'yeses masters its the door they dont ever use for nuffin ever sir lordy sir'. 'And you are sure if we go in there will not be a wall of archers aiming right at us or some horrible trap of gruesome death like the ones we have back home, well had before those BASTARDS came and broke them all?'. 'Yes sir it will be fine an that sir cos they donts know we is comin or nuffin sir' the goblin answered coving his face as if to avoid a swift slap. 'To be fair, i did just pull about three hundred years worth of plant life off it', offered Cyglax 'they wont even know its here and if they do they wont be expecting us after the state they left our place in'. 'Im sure your right' said Villaraxxx 'right, are we ready?'. The party gave a quiet cheer. 'Right then, Cyglax, Goretex, lets get this door open and lets give them a taste of their own bloody medicine!'. The Firmir and the Chaos Warrior grabbed Snivles by an arm each and smartly flung him through the closed door, splintering it and sending broken planks and the goblin flying into the dark corridor behind. 'We're in' announced Cyglax dusting off his hands. 'All right then' said Villaraxxx. He cupped his hands round his mouth and peered into the darkness 'Snivles, is the coast clear?.....'

As i mentioned in the last post (which you can read here) That i was going to use my home brew solo Heroquest rules for this game. I have posted them on here before, if you wish to read them they are here and here.

As i am not playing in the traditional way i need to fill in some rules gaps so bear with me while i go through the book keeping:

'HEROS'
 As i am playing a party of bad guys not the party included in the game i have written profiles for them as follows:

The party from left: Goretex the Chaos warrior, Snivles the Goblin, Villaraxxx the Chaos Wizard and Cyglax the Fimir.

                                ATTACK       DEFEND      BODY      MIND       NOTES

Goretex                        3                       3                4                2

Snivles                         1                       2                3                2            Sling (missile attack on 1 dice)

Villaraxxx                    2                       2                4                4            Has Fire and Earth magic

Cyglax                         3                       2                5                2

 The party are not strictly made to follow the generation rules to the letter, i just went with what felt right for them.

THE MISSION

  Villaraxxx got a good look at the 'heros' that smashed up his gaff and stole his stuff and the party are hell bent on getting bloody revenge!. The party win the game by finding and killing the party of heros included in the game i.e. the Dwarf, Wizard, Elf and Barbarian. I have changed their profiles by restricting them to 2 Body points (most 'boss' enemies only have 1 so they are getting off light!) and giving the wizard air and water spells and the elf a longbow that gives a missile attack on 2 dice!.

Also it would be a bit weird if they were living in a place full of the normal monsters for Heroquest so i have come up with a new set of enemies for the party to fight their way through using some minis i have about the place. Their profiles are as follows:

                                ATTACK       DEFEND      BODY      MIND       NOTES

Man at arms                 2                       2                 1               2

Archer                          1                       2                 1               2           Missile attack on 1 dice.

Guardsman                   2                       3                 1              3

Dwarf guard                 2                       2                 1              3

Dwarf gunner               2                       2                 1              3           Missile attack on 2 dice.

Dwarf Longbeard         3                       3                 1              3

 SETTING UP

   I used my rules for setting up and ended up with a board looking like this:

   'scuse the glare!, The dark blue tiles are features and the light blue are enemies!. The party will begin in the bottom of the board in the center.

ON TO THE ACTION.....
  ....'Snivles.....SNIVLES!.... oh flippin hell i think hes gone and died on us!, did you two have to throw him so hard?'. demanded Villaraxxx as he poked his head into the gloom after the missing goblin. 'sirs, sirs come quick' came a small voice from the darkness'....its....its....not dingy or dank and theres no mildew or nothin, theres soft stuff on the floor and loads o' torches...i can sees everythin.......its comfey and warm and...and.....its 'orrible!'. CLEAN?, WARM?, BRIGHT?, THE BLOOBY BARBARIANS!' screamed Villaraxx, 'COME ON LADS!, HAVE NO FEAR SNIVLES, HELP IS ON THE WAY!'. And so it was our anti-heros made their way into the fort of donepillagin to gain their revenge!.

The party get a first look at the evil lair!.

Given the classic choice of east or west to begin their adventure (thank you firetop mountain!) the 'heros' turned east. 'Hey Snivles, have you ever wanted to be a scout?' asked Villarax in his sweetest voice. 'OOH YES YES BOSS I WANT TO DO THE BESTEST JOB FOR YOU SIRS' shouted the Goblin excitedly. 'Then be a dear and see whats behind that door will you'. Snivles approached the door and gave it a push.

He found a common room with a roaring fire and a chest ('one of mine i recon' grumbled Villaraxxx) and a man at arms, Guard and a Dwarf longbeard enjoying a mead together!. Snivles waisted no time in waving awkwardly and legging it behind the big guys!. Cyglax and Goretex pile in axes at the ready.

The result- bad guys 2 good guys 0!. The Guard charged into Cyglax but fails to hit him, he is answered with an axe somewhere personal!. 'Nice job boys' said Villaraxxx and he strode into the room and swiftly opened the chest. 'Never doubted you for a moment!. Oh look...GOLD!'. he said reaching into the chest and pulling out a handful. Goretex gave a sigh that said 'dont mind us, we only killed the guards for you!'. 'Hey guys theres another room further along...look' exclaimed Cyglax opening it carefully. It was empty save for a chest, Cyglax wasted no time pulling it open. He found a bottle inside. 'Bloody ell boss its a potion of speed!, im the fastest fimir in the world!.

The party continued along the eastward corridor until they came to a corner. Cyglax poked his head around and saw a Dwarf guard at his post. 'theres a guard' he whispered to the group. 'What?' said Villaraxxx. 'I said theres a guard' Cyglax tried again in a slightly louder voice. 'Speak up boggy i cant bloody hear you back here' Villaraxxx replied. Cyglax rolled his eye. 'Dont roll your bloody eye at me lizard breath'. 'I SAID THERESOHSHITHESCOMING', shouted the hulking Fimir as he bolted back round the corner. 'WHOS BLOODY COMING' shouted Villaraxxx as Cyglax ducked an hammer blow.

Cyglax cursed and berried his blade into the dwarfs gut. 'THIS BLOODY GUARD'. Villaraxxx strode round the corner. 'Oh that guard, why did'nt you say?' he said as he stepped over the body, smirking. The group continued on..........

                                                           .......in conga formation!

Soon the party came upon another door. Snivles opened it slowly.

It was a study of some kind containing a large bookcase....and a Wizard with his guard!. Snivles loosed his sling at the Guard only to see the stone bounce off his targets armour. He then ducked round the door frame and wildly signaled to the others. Villaraxxx entered the room...'YOU!' he bellowed at the Wizard. The Guard began to advance but the hulking frame of  Goretex walked casually between the Guard and Villaraxxx. With one blow the Chaos warrior felled the hapless guardsman!. Villaraxxx wasted no time and flung a fireball at the wizard!.

 'Turn over my pot plants will ya?, wreck my bloody kitchen?, kill my goldfish?, GET HIM LADS!'.

The rest of the party piled on!

None of the party manage to wound the wizard who proves just how sneeky he is by calling up a vail of mist spell......and running away!.

'COME GET ME YOU LOOSERS!' he shouted back as he ran!. 'Where'd he go' coughed Cyglax. 'Dont worry lads, i'll get him, i've just the thing' said Villaraxx with cold determination as he stalked through the door. 'OI KNOB HEAD, EAT THIS!'

,'FIRE OF WRATH BITCH!'

And with that the enemy wizard was engulfed in flames to die an agonizing death!. 'Anyone bring any marshmallows?' asked Cyglax as he and the rest of the party came out to see what all the commotion was about. With much patting on the back and high fiving the party continued on....Except Goretex who checks out a book on the wizards bookcase. Wedged in the pages is a scrap of paper containing the instructions for calling a Genie!. 

As the party go on they arrive at the next door the next few rooms become a blur as enemies come from everywhere to fall at the parties blades but none of the remaining 'heros' are found.....wait a mo....this calls for......A PICTURE MONTAGE!.

 Villaraxxx finds a potion of strength!

It was all going swimmingly until the party opened the next door!

Villaraxxx swaggers to the next door and flings it open only to get a hammer in the head!, Staggering backwards sees the toughest looking Dwarf longbeard he has ever seen in the door way!. 'COME ON THEN YOU EVIL BASTARDS, COME GET A TASTE O' ME 'AMMER!'. Cyglax charges at the dwarf screaming 'THERES AN H IN HAMMER YOU BLOODY OIK!'. His blow glances off the dwarfs plate but the dwarf has more luck, staggering the Fimir with a solid blow to the gut!, Cyglax tries to counter with a blow of his own but the dwarf steps back and avoids it. He raised his gigantig warhammer and swings. Cyglax looks up just to see the hammer coming down, Snivles screams, Goretex covers his eye holes as the hammer connects!. Cyglax slumps lifelessly to the flagstones, a pool of thick black blood trickles from his head.

'NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!'

'

Will the party get their revenge?, can they get past the bloody Longbeard?, will they find the dwarf, Barbarian and Elf?, can they survive the horrors of donepillagin?. Find out the answers to all these questions and more next time................

                                   TO BE CONTINUED........ 

Soloquest: Thieving BA*&$RDS!!!!!!

Ah Heroquest, its like slipping on a well worn in leather jacket, it fits just right and brings back memories of adventures of years gone by. I do love the big box of gateway goodness, its the beckoning hand that reeled me in (after Mr Livingstone and Mr Jackson had cast the fly) to a life of little plastic men at the tender age of.....well that would be telling!.
I mean look at it!!.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY_YRatOInA

I have already posted my homebrew solo play rules (here) and my hero creation rules (here) but since then i havent gone so far as to get the game down off the shelf!, i know shame on bloody me!. All thats about to change!.

You see i was at work today pulling the now customary 12 hour shift in the midst of a mini heatwave (so much humidity, my undies were damper than the amazon in the wet season!) and i had an idea that must have only been caused by a combination of dehydration, fatigue and boredom!. Wronghammer is missing a Soloquest game report, but this one is with a twist!.......

  'BASTARDS!, BASTARDS!, ROBBING BLOODY CHAV BASTARDSSSS!!!!!!!!' raged the dark lord Villaraxxx the many x'ed, lord of almost total darkness, destroyer of worlds, upender of reason, learned student of the black arts as he kicked the strewn and broken debris around his study. 'TOTAL,TOTAL BLOODY THIEVING BUNCH OF DONKEYS BOLLOCKS, MASSIVE LOAD OF PILFERING DUCK SHITES!!!!' he screamed as he grabbed the burned pages of his archaic spell book and flung it against the wall, scattering its torn pages in a storm of loose paper. He looked up as the door flew open and a cowering green shape slithered into the room. 'WHERE THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU GO YOU USELESS BAG OF TOTAL STEAMING WEASEL SPLUFF' screamed Villaraxxx at the sniveling figure '.......pppplease master, i dont do no 'arm, i got the rest o 'lord o darkieness i went and gots them to 'elp you calm all down an that'. As he spoke a massive green brown reptillian creature with one large eye in the center of his snouted head walked gingerly into the room. 'Come on now boss, whats all this then?' the creature said in measured tones, holding its arms out towards the angry wizard. 'WHATS ALL THIS HE ASKS?, WHATS ALL BLOODY THIS!!!?. I WILL TELL YOU WHAT IT FLIPPING WELL IS, THESE BASTARDS BROKE INTO MY COSY STRONGHOLD, MURDERED MY HENCHMEN, SMASHED UP THE PLACE, STOLE ALL MY GOLD AND KNICKED MY BLOODY MAGIC STAFF!!!!'. 'Oh i see, we've had adventurers in again, why did'ent you say so!'. 'ADVENTURERS!, THIEVING BACKSTABBING MURDERING THIEVES MORE LIKE!, WHAT DID I DO TO THEM?, THATS WHAT I WANT TO KNOW, WHY ME?, I WAS GETTING READY TO RETIRE, THAT STAFF WAS GOING ON EVIL BAY, IT WAS WORTH BLOODY GOOD GOLD, IT WAS GOING TO BUY ME A MANSION IN THE DARK LANDS, LIFE WAS GOING TO BE WALL TO WALL WITCH ELVES AND ODDLY SMOKING COCKTAILS WITH TINY UMBRELLAS AND LITTLE PLASTIC MONKEYS ON THE RIM, BUT NOOOOOOO SOME BLOODY CHAV ARSE HEADS HAD TO BREAK IN AND STEAL IT.....BASTARRRRRDDDDDSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!. Villarax picked up a golden candle stick and flung it at the open door. It was answered with a muffled MMMMHHHHMMM!!!. as a massive figure clad head to toe in grey plate including a huge horned helm that seemed to muffle his speech strode into the chaos of the room. 'Oh sorry goretex i did not know you were there'. The metal clad giant shrugged and made a noise that carried a hint of 'no bother'. The reptillian creature tried again. 'Now come on now boss calm down, getting mad and throwing things wont get the staff back, lets have a nasty cup of weed tea and talk this through, get it off your chest. my sherl used to say a nasty cup o' weeds makes the world seem foggier'. 'Cyglax, when will you learn that a cup of nettles in tepid swamp water will not fix these things?, i need to get the staff but i cant can i?'. The metal man raised his head and said something that gave an impression of 'why not?'. 'Because Goretex, they are the good guys, they are supposed to be what passes for heros', we have to sit here and put up with these invasions while they kill and maim and steal all they like!.......hang on a mo, when i was getting humiliated by these thugs where were you and froggy chops over there?' he inquired pointing at Cylax. Cylax jumped to his feet and quickly answered ' Its not our fault boss, we were stuck in the torture chamber, we cant open doors. Its in the rules remember?, We had to wait for Snivels to come get us'. 'Yes i know all about the rules, 1 body point, black shields, cant even open the doors for ourselves, yes im very familiar with the rules.' Villaraxxx slumped down onto his semi smashed chair, shoulders sagging in defeat. Silence filled the room for what felt like an age, the occupants dejected in defeat. Suddenly Villaraxxx looked up, a strange look on his face. 'Hang on' he said to the room at large, 'what if we refused to follow the rules, what if we decided we were the heros, i mean, we have been wronged, they broke in here and murdered our work mates, they came in here uninvited and stole anything that they could lay their hands on. What if we broke into their stronghold and went after them?. I SAY BUGGER THE RULES, MAYBE ITS OUR TURN FOR ONCE, He stood up tall and smothed his tattered robes proudly.' MEN WI..' Cyglax gave a small cough ...'fine, AND FIMER ARE YO...' Snivles coughed.....' REALLY, I NEED TO SAY IT. BLOODY HELL, AND GOBLINS' he glanced sideways at the little green creature 'happy?' he asked it with a hint of menace. The goblin met his eyes before looking away and nodding. 'Where was i.....right, yes.....'ARE YOU WITH ME?'. The three gave a rousing cheer (or a muffled sound a bit like one), they grabbed their weapons and went out into the fading dawn, Four heros on a quest to recover that which had been stolen from them, four heros willing to face danger, face hardships and to face their destiny!. 

Solo questing, heroically

Hi all, last time out i shared my home brew rules for

(if you want a logo make it a massive logo!.....my wife says im over compensating!).
well I've been at it again!. The one thing with the game is the fact that someone has to run things as the 'evil wizard player' (or D.M. for the kids of the TSR generation). Playing with the kids has been fun as they have to work together to complete the quests and have learned the hard way that they are stronger as a team then working on their own (see detractors, gaming teaches life lessons....sometimes). What this does mean is that i never get to pick up my metaphorical battle axe (and adjust my metaphorical metal cod piece) and channel my inner hero!. Well all that has changed!.

At this point i think i need to point out that i quite enjoy messing with game systems and home brewing rule sets and when i set myself a challenge i find myself over thinking it far too much!. With that in mind i give you..........SPRINKS' HOME BREW SOLO HEROQUEST SYSTEM!!!!!!.

PREP
 To make this work you need to do a small amount of prep work. Take 2 different coloured sheets of card (A4 will do the trick). What you need to do is make counters to represent the monsters in the game (and any others you want to include) in one colour and the 'features' of the game (such as furniture, traps, secret doors etc) in the other. Mark the sheets in 2cmx2cm squares and write the name of one monster or feature on a relevant square. Write one counter for each of the individual miniatures you wish to use (e.g. if you want 6 orcs write 6 'orc' counters). When you have finished cut them out, they should look like a better version of these:

Monster counters

Features

The counters will have writing on one side and be blank on the other. These will be used in the game to indicate the position of monsters and features on the game board without giving away what is actually in the room.

Next you need to note down the special rules and stats for the monsters you are using. If you are using the monsters in the box just keep the monster cards handy, if like me you like to add more i find it best to write them out together (i used the same colour card as the monster counters to create a 'monster matrix' for ease during play. The features need to be listed along with any special rules you wish to give them on their own 'matrix'. These are the rules i have been using but its your game so its up to you!:

-Fire place: roll 1 dice. On a roll of 4+ you may use the fire place as a secret door.

-Treasure Chest: The first character that stands next to it receives a treasure card. Once this happens remove the chest from play. I tend to use 6 chest counters as they are removed from play after use.

-Book Case: The first character To stand next to it rolls 1 dice, on a 1-3 they get a treasure card, on a 4-6 they get 1 random spell card.

-tomb: The first player that stands next to it rolls 1 dice. On a roll of 1-2 a Skeleton appears as a wondering monster, on a 3+ the player gets a treasure card.

-Secret door: Place on the closest square on a wall. Counts as a secret door as detailed in the rule book.

-Trap: Effects the character that opened the door to the room. Roll 1 dice, on an odd roll it counts as a pit trap, on an even its a falling rock trap as detailed in the rules.

-Stairs: Means of escape, the characters cannot leave the board unless they find these!.

-Weapon rack: The first player that stands next to it gets an equipment card.

-Wardrobe: The players may use this to escape to Narnia.......................Just kidding the first character    that stands next to it rolls 1 dice. On a 4+ they get a treasure card.

-Wizards bench type thing: The first player to stand next to it rolls 1 dice. On a 1-2 they receive 1 body point  of damage, any other result allows them to get 1 spell card. 

-Rack: Nothing, its an empty rack....I'm not E L James!.

Mine look like this:

The search is over.......
 In the solo rules there is no need to search for anything, the features include traps, secret doors and many ways to receive treasure cards. How many of each you include is up to you.

Quests
 The point of a game called Heroquest is to take hero's questing. To do this you need quests!. Take another sheet of card (any colour) and measure out 10 4cm x 5cm cards. These will be your Quest cards. Choose 10 different quests and write one on each card ( e.g. kill the gargoyle, find the weapon rack, open 3 chests, find the stairs etc). The quests work as plot points giving narrative reasons for the quest, maybe they are after a magic item, treasure hunting, on a mission to wipe out an enemy that is set to destroy the local area!  Cut these out. You will have a pile a bit like this:

                                           So much to do, so few body points!.

SET UP

 To set up the board all you need to do is place the the plastic door bases where you like and use them to show where the doorways are going to be. No need to put the frames in yet. If you want to you can add the blocked passage sections to change the shape and layout. It will look something like this:

Then you can put the monster and feature counters face down in any rooms you like to make a game that suits you. Try not to put more than 2 features per room as some are far larger than the counters!. You will have something not unlike this:

And you will have no idea whats in each room (unless you cheated....and you are only cheating yourself!).

The next thing to do is choose your party of adventurers. You can use some or all of the ones from the box or you can create your own (my own method can be found here). Then pick one quest card at random for each 2 members of the adventuring party. You can pick any empty room or stretch of passageway to set up the party in (best to pick a room with a door!). 

Playing the game

 The game follows all the rules as stated in the rule book with the evil wizards turn being taken over by the game itself. When a character can see a new rooms door place a closed door in the door frame. When the player opens the door it is assumed they can see the whole room so all the monster and feature counters in the room are turned over to reveal whats lurking within. Replace the counters with the relevant models. The counters are discarded when revealed. The players turn then continues. For example:

A party of dwarves find a door, a closed door is placed in the frame.

Gunner 'big gunn' Gunnerson is sent forward to investigate.

He opens the door, an open door frame is placed and the counters turned over. He can see another door in the room so a closed door is placed it the base.

The monster minis are placed and so are the features. Gunner messes himself. (maybe).

Monsters

 It can be assumed that during what would have been the evil wizard players turn all monsters will move up to their full distance to attack the closest character. If you are using  monsters with missile attacks they will only move far enough to target the closest character. If in doubt assume the monsters will move and attack in the most obvious way they can.

Ending the game

 The game ends when the characters complete the missions given on the quest cards at the start of the game and have discovered and moved onto the stairs. If you feel they have done this too quickly feel free to draw an extra quest card. If all the characters die before the quests are completed the mission has failed and you will be left with an empty feeling inside (but dont be too hard on yourself!). 

So thats all there is too it!. You can even let two players play rival parties that set up in their own areas but are trying to complete the same quests, best to draw more than 2 quests to make sure one party cant stumble on the objectives too quickly. Of course they still have to find the stairs and there's nothing stopping the opposing party from trying to stop them!.

I hope thats a help for some of you and gets you dusting off your chain mail under shorts for a bit of heroic questing!. Before i go i would like to offer a massive Wronghammer welcome to the esteemed Mr Phil o'tep, a fantastic miniature painter whos blog can be found here (check it out its great!), Mr Carlos Faro and the enigmatic Matthew (just Matthew) who have decided to do the inadvisable and follow this rubbish!. Thank you and welcome to all of you!. As always I'm not sure if Matthew and Carlos have blogs but if you do feel free to let us all know in the comments section, we would love to check them out!.

Anyway, till next time...... 

Questing, heroically

As i have stated in a previous post i do love a bit of



Not only was it responsible for a lifetime of pushing plastic solders around boards/tables/gardens/floors etc it was and still is an absolute blast to play almost 30 years after it was released!. Proof of this is the fact that not only did it provide my gateway into gaming it has also had the same effect on my sons (aged 8 and 5) who have almost recovered the spirit blade and are on a crash course with a risen nasty from my youth!. They actually badger me for the next game!. Its even got to the point where they ask to help when im sorting minis and getting ready to play a game! (' daddy are you playing an army game?, CAN I PLAY!!!??'). This if nothing else is proof im a responsible parent!. Since i have been revisiting this wonderful bit of gaming history (yep, its 'retro', which shows my age like nothing else!), and since i have been playing it with two monst...er cherubs who have a collective great imagination for a 'tactical advantage' (e.g. 'daddy can i be the barbarian?'. 'In that case can i be the Gargoyle?!!') i have been required to think about the rules and have come up with a few thoughts to add to the game.

MISSILE ATTACKS
  Yep the boys are taken with the idea of shooting orcs in the bottom (their words). I solve this issue by allowing missile attacks in the game but have also introduced some baddies with them too!. To make this work i have come up with the following:

 Any player may have missile attacks if the evil wizard player allows it and a missile weapon is depicted on the mini used to represent the character. I dont worry about range as most of the rooms are too small to make this much of an issue however and i also allow a 360 degree field of fire following the idea that minis can be turned to face combat opponents in hand to hand so why not when shooting!. I do however insist on line of sight, if the way is blocked by a player/monster/feature/wall the shots not on!. I give all missile attacks 2 attack dice (sometimes i go easy with smaller monsters such as goblins and only give them 1). Also i only allow one shooting attack OR hand to hand attack per move.

CHARACTER CREATION
   I also have come up with a simple method to allow the boys to go through my collection of minis to pick their character. They enjoy rummaging through daddy's 'army men' and i'm not going to stop them!. This has led to all kinds of combos (dwarf snipers, ogres, barbarian brothers and their pet dogs, even a mission to defeat an orc warlord taken up by 2 Gargoyles!.... the poor guy never stood a chance!). I let them pick their characters rpg(ish) style by using this method:

1: Each character starts with 5 attack dice which they allocate to attack and defense on their character sheet. e.g. ATTACK 2  DEFENSE 3 etc. This stands for the rest of the characters adventuring.

2: Body points are 1d3+4. This gives a workable scale that gives enough challenge while not being too harsh.

3: Skills and Equipment
   I let them swap 1 attack dice for an item from the list bellow:
- Attack diagonally.
-Parry/Dodge: an enemy rolls 1 less attack dice in combat.
-Missile Attack (see above)
-Shield: Enemy missile attacks roll 1 less attack dice (or must re-roll if they already only roll 1 dice).
-Tool kit: You may attempt to disarm any trap in the same room by rolling one combat dice and getting a shield.
-Fast: Re-roll 1 dice for movement each turn.
-One of the 3 card spell decks.

Just a few thoughts that we have had lots of fun with, and tinkering with the rules to make them fit the type of game we are after is the Wronghammer way!.

Before i sign off i would like to give a huge welcome to Mr Generalissimo Forde and Mr Peter Bonami, two individuals of undeniable taste (and questionable judgement!) that are now a big part of the most exclusive group in modern wargaming......followers of this blog!. Thank you gents it is very encouraging to know you are enjoying my streemofconcusnessmentalsplurgelikerambelings!. Im not great at this new fangled tech so if you have a blog or twitter thingy or other socially networked doodah please feel free to say hello and put a link in the comments section.

Anyhoo, till next time.....