Last stand at Habituals Ridge (pt 2)

And relax!.

     Things have been mighty quiet around these parts for the best part of the last year due to me undergoing a rather drastic change in my career. I have gone from the stress and strain of the retail managers lot (and its constant urge to visit differing levels of violence on pathetic middle management types!) to the far more rewarding and involved life of the service engineer. This has meant a long period of training and studying on my part so gaming time has been greatly reduced. However, i have just about finished my final stage of this process, having just passed my exams for my gas accreditation (look out world!). Just the matter of an internal competency to go!.

 (another day at work!)

 upshot of this is that my gaming time should return to the normal level it was at before all the training started (or better, as my working hours and stress levels are greatly reduced!). However the world will have to live with the knowledge that a doughnut like me will be tampering with their gas supplies!!!!.
  Anyhoo, that hopefully explains why i have been less than speedy updating my blog based piffle of late.......speaking of which.......

                                         BATTLE AT HABITULES RIDGE (PT 2)

(You can find part 1 here)
         .....its time to go back to the 'Fight o' the morrow' teams transcript of the battle as it happened to gain much valued insight on the events that lead to such an important victory for....well.. that would be telling.....

'As the trumpets sound for kick off we are underway, the leader of the Fossestershire force, Sir Phiss orders his serfs forward in an aggressive opening act on the flank, the Crivenshire cannon team wasting no time in firing into their ranks!. However the serfs seem undeterred by the damage Al'.
'Thats right sir John, its good to see such commitment early on from the attacking side'.
'Are you surprised the cannon failed to send them running Al?.
'No sir John, they make 'em tough up north!'.
'Quite so Al, and..yes..we can see the Fossestershire line is advancing'.

'Looks like a statement of intent from the Fossestershire command Al'.
'Thats right sir John, the northeners are on their game today, pushing forward into the Crivenshire defenses, good order in the advance, Sir Physs will be pleased with that'.
'And the Crivenshire serf archers have pushed on into the field Al'
'Yep, looking for a good field of fire no doubt'

'No sooner have they taken up position Al the Fossestershire bows have opened fire on them and just look at them fall!.'

'A text book volley there sir John, thats what we came here to see, fantastic bowmanship from the men in grey and white.'

'And would you fathom it Al, the serfs have had enough, they have turned and run from the field, and who could blame them?'.
'Thats disappointing sir John, shows a total lack of commitment on their part and now the Crivenshire left is wide open. Who taught them to defend?.'
'Over on the other flank things are heating up'.

'The Jarkin have broken ranks Al, i think....yes im getting word that a vicious taunting from the serfs has wound the big men up and they have had enough!, could be trouble for the northern conscripts'.
'Great technique from the serfs there sir John, really getting under the big lads skin, drawing them out of position, the question is are the serfs up to the task of holding the enemy long enough.'
'Quite right Al', meanwhile the Fossestershire charge has begun.'

'Sir Physs has led his Knights into the teeth of the defenses of the watchtower......

 .....while the spearmen have charged the pikes, a wise move Al?'.
'Well you cant fault their commitment Sir John, looking to engage the enemy on all fronts, with no sign of the army from St Ronays they have to get the job done.'
'I can barely hear you over the din of battle Al, both sides are giving no quarter, quite a battle we have on our....the serfs waver, nice work from the Jarkin pushing them back...

 ...and they are running Al, the Jarkin have put them to flight!'.
'Magnificent work from the big lads Sir John, great finishing there.'
'The pikemen are holding admirably in the face of the charge Al, really living up to their billing'.
'Thats right Sir John, reliability is what you would expect from such seasoned troops.'

'This battle really is anyones at this point. But whats this...i think i can hear...can you hear hoof beats Al?.'
'Now you mention it Sir John...'

'Well what about this Al, the forces of St Ronays stump have stormed onto the field!, lead by Sir Bacckersfordde on his great snow eagle Keith Montgomary no less, who has charged head long into the Jarkin!'.
'Great time to bring them on Sir John, this could be a decisive move, great to see Sir Bacckersfordde on the front foot early'.

'He has an immediate effect wiping out the Jarkin, he really is a star in the making this youngster.'

'Thats right sir John, he lights up the battlefield with his electric pace and expert finishing'.

'The arrival of the subs looks to be timely Al as in the center the spears have broken, the pikes holding out against them'.
'Great defense there sir John, no way through for the Fossestershire forces there'.
'But it may not be enough Al as they are now isolated against the oncoming troops!'.

'We have a stalemate at the watchtower Al, no side giving way despite heavy pressure. The Fossestershire troops getting the worst of it'.
'Its the numbers game playing out Sir John, no lack of ability on the knights side but its a big ask to storm a defended area against this kind of numbers'.

 'Elsewhere the pike are now facing the charge of the Fossestershire combined horse and sir Bacckersfordde on his great snow eagle Keith Montgomary, could be decisive Al'.
'Its a tall order to face that kind of power but if anyone can hold th...oh no, they've broken!'.

'Things look bleak for Crivenshire Al, how do they come back from a setback like that?'
'Its difficult no doubt sir John but this is where quality counts, and Sir Rallagh of Choppa and his Knights are still uncommitted'.

'Over at the watchtower things have taken a turn Al, the Fossrstershire bows have thrown themselves into the fray'.

'Great attacking play from them sir John, drawing off the defense to allow the knights to push on, great stuff'.
'Meanwhile it looks like the tower itself has been claimed by Sir Bacckersfordde on his great snow eagle Keith Montgomary, while we were watching the base of the tower he swooped in on the cannon and killed the crew!'.

'Great movement from the youngster Sir John, dynamic attacking play showing quick thinking in the heat of battle.'

'And over on the other side of the tower Sir Rallagh seems to be under pressure Al'. 

Hes being attacked on two fronts Sir John, theres no coming back from that!'.

'With daylight fading Al it looks like the Crivenshire command have ordered the retreat, they are disengaging from the enemy and heading from the field in defeat, a bad day for them'.
'Thats right Sir John, after a bright start from the front line it all fell apart when the second wave came on from the flank, they failed to fall back and reorganize and it all fell apart from there. The defenders at the watchtower held on well but with the early loss of the serfs the writing was on the wall'.
'And who was your trooper of the battle Al?'.
'Theres a lot to choose from today Sir John. The defenders at the tower held on all battle and the pike did well for a time but you cant look past the young Bacckersfordde. For me he made the difference in terms of his movement and body count, i feel he really tipped the balance for the Fossestershire force today.'
'Thanks Al, well thats all for today, with Fossestershire forces encamped in the north of Crivenshire how will the Earls forces respond?. From me, the big man and all the 'fight o' the morrow team' its a fond fair thee well!'.

 The transcript comes to an end there. Im sure we can all agree its a treat to have an actual account of the battle as it happens. Also a big thank you from me for the Wronghammer plastic re-enactment society for their hard work translating the words of the transcript into the scenes we have above. Thanks fellas!.

Well thats it for now.....'till next time.....

The battle of St Blithers Gate (1521......ish)

As you may not know as well as being a keen plastic toy botherer of some ill-repute i am also an enthusiastic amatuer fictional history sluth. I particularly enjoy discovering the lost details of the battles that never occurred in these very isles during the medievalish period, especially the imagined 'border botherations', a series of fictitious minor battles between the landed lords while they were waiting for the king to pick on some made up country or other. With this in mind i am sure you can understand my surprise and excitement upon discovering the esteemed historian Crutthers Formensure-Whiteing, professor of the imagined non-souls collage Cameford had unearthed details of the long lost battle of St Blithers Gate 1521!!. This really would be a fantastic find and would help fill in details of the period which no one has yet to been bothered to imagine!. Rather than link to the work i endeavoured to pretend to write to the honorable Mr Formensure-Whiting and he amazingly gave me carte blanche to re-produce the work he has not found in full on this blog!. So without further ado it gives me great pleasure to 'hand over' as it were to the man himself!.


  In all my many years researching and delving into the shadows of the fictitious past it was the period 1520-1523 that have proved the most fruitless. A combination of a lack of anyone making up a crusade or invasion of any kind and the general lack of interest in the period combined with a lack of non-credible records from the time make the three year period difficult to research. However, it has come to my attention that within the non existent records of the 139th Earl of Fossestershire in his personal library in Chappersley House (just off the A38 near Trull, i recommend it for a wonderful imagined day out) there may not remain the only recorded account of the Battle of St Blithers Gate, notable for its aggressor the 18th Duke of Cavenlly, who was said to have been one of the minor players in the unreal invasion of Francalande some 11 years previous. The Duke was thought to have retired to his Estate and probably fallen foul to some colourful disease of the age (perhaps puce fever or the dreaded selaphiciosis, known by many as 'ol' crones sag'). It would seem however that the records place him alive and well at the time of the battle!. This is some find indeed!.

  The records not discovered are made up of one letter from the Duke himself to his enemy, the 13th Lord of Offenholeanham, and of an account of the battle itself reported to be recorded by the Dukes personal herald Thomas Ableaseford, who was not actually the son of the 21st Barron of Cheebsdale no less. With such scant records it would be hard for one to be excited however on inspection the record of Thomas Ableaseford is unusually complete for such a spurious text (most investigators omit at least some details) and as such it offers a unique flavor of the period as it did not happen.

  I have included below the Duke of Cavenllys' letter in its entirety, followed by the report not really given by Thomas Ableaseford. I hope such details of this made up age gives you the excitement it has given me. Enjoy

                           Crutthers Formensure-Whiteing MFHis, non-souls collage Cameford.

    to the most blaggardly rapscallion the 13th Lord of Offenholeanham regarding various hurts and wrongs inflicted upon the house of Fossestershire,

  I will dispense with the formalities due to an honorable man as you sir are of no such cut. I put it to you sir that in no uncertain terms you have wronged my person and my family most gravely and such matters must be settled. Towitt:

You are accused of the dire act upon the feast of St Plummage at my very table no less of using a partridge fork upon a nestle of Trout!. An act i can only assume to be a slight against my estate!.

 You also upon the same night did proceed to bring forth a most vulgar verse detailing one maiden, a minister and a gooseberry fool!, and within earshot of my lady wife, all before the 9th hour!!. She still suffers from faints and womanly weakness on account of your filth!.

 These errs i was intending to overlook as a good christian and gentleman yet still you would offer further insult!. For it has been brought to my attention you were to be found to be hunting within the boarders of my lands upon the second day after a new moon no less!.

 This sir is a step too far, i make preparations to arrest you and bring you forth to give your confession to the King himself sir, i make ready to march the Hog Road and into your lands before the new moon wains. I will take any attempt to stand against my just actions as an act of defiance and will act in accord.

 I will have satisfaction.

   Yours faithfully and in all truth,
                                                   Sir Lombidge Carneigie-Smithe, 18th Duke of Cavenlly.    


 What follows is ye truest account of a battle most bloodie upon the hogges roade in the year most blesseded 1521 frome the truest hand of your servant, squire and herald Thomas Ableaseford. 
'Twas a day most cloudee and grey upon the mantle, the dew doth est rest thicklee upone the earthe. Upon the Hogges roade we did ride to aquire the submissieon of the loathed cade and bounder thee
Lorde of Offenholeanham(ee). At the heade of our colomn most proude did ride the warrior most mighty, the Duke of Cavenlly, who once brought a most bloodee end to a frankishman with a bar of saopee and a corpe of a squirelle. Upon a moment we doth come upon the vile person of thee Lorde himself with his household arrayede betwixt the stonees of the Gate of St Blithers most true. Ready for battle he was, with spears to both sides and vile northern sell swordes within his companee!, (the type that laye with donkiees no less). Thee brave Duke gave the calle to deployee and soone the godless enemye woulde be done. Uponne the tenthe hour thee Duke dide calle us too bring battle moste full and foul upone the enemiee. Thee men of thee Duke brave and true doth arraye in just accorde,

The men onne foote, sargent and peasent bothee did makest uppe a fine center to bring battle forth,
               (all pictures supplied by the wronghammer plastic re-enactment society)

The hororable Duke doth lead his knightly warriors to the flank to smashe the foul foe. The house of Cavenllys colours doth fly of purest blue and richest blackee.  Fore his parte the cruel lorde accused did in defiance stande with his horde a-line,

To the far winge his personage doth hide away frome the duke most true, his menne (dogs everyee one) lined to intercepte thee brave forces of the duke. Theire colours doth fly, ash greye on white.

Too yonder wing did the vile northerne sell spears lurk undere the guidence of thee blaggarde Ruffariouse the redde, foul raider and hounde of thee seas. His banner dide unfurle, sea blue on white.

In thee queste fore satisfactictione the dukes menne dide go forthe upone thee enemee as arrowes doth fall amongst theire ranks, stille they doth pushe onne. 

Inne his luste for vengance thee duke did sette forthe to crush thee enemiee, forward stepped foule Ruffariouse to fille his passage!. But alas fore the norcemanne ande his kin under hooves of steele they were throwne,

Ande the scume did absconde withe their tails betwixt their legges!. 

Withe dander up the knightly gentlemene dothe charge once more upone the line of the defilers.

they dide putte thee Lordes menne to thee blade and more norsemenne to flight!.

Withe the Dukes sucesse the imputus helde he, in suche strife thee cowardlee Lorde did sounde thee charge too thee center of the juste Dukes line.

Ande a greate hole didde they punche!.

Withe a greate cry thee Dukes foote dide charge, enveloping the frightful cad in a juste wall of vengence!

onlye to be thruste aside bye thee cravens at arms under thee Lordes Grey ande white!.

As arronde battle raged accrosse thee hoggs roade thee Duke dide spy his preye, withoute hesitatione he dide challenge thee cur to combate mortal and dire, tilt did he and his accused foe.....

Blows rained downe hither and thine, as thee fates did conspire to honer the Duke withe a true aim ande a juste strength too his arme, he doth slay his enemee upone the field!. As the fatal blowe was strucke thee craven foe did surrender to a manne, thee hoggs road and gate of st Blithere were his and the wrongs inflictede so truelyee were therenbye in full paide. Theire was much feastinge and wenching upone the campe on that night!.

  So there you are, im sure we can all agree that these documents and the work of Formensure-Whiteing in not really capturing and recording them are vital to fill in the detail that does not exist during this otherwise unrecorded period. I for one am excited to see what he fabricates next!.

 Anyway, hopefully i will have a AAR for you rather than an almost historical account but sometimes you just have to share these things.........

......'till next time.

How do you eat an Elephant?

......One bite at a time!.

As i mentioned in this post a while ago (going on 3 months now) i have....er..... gifted myself the wonderful project of rebasing ALL MY BLOODY MINIS!!!!!!!. This post is happening first as a kind of progress report and second to encourage myself to push on and get it done!. I got out the based minis i have finished so far and took these (dark, dark) photos:

If you hold a torch to the screen and squint you may be able to make out the extent of the task. I am over two thirds of the way through having based 4 of the 6 regions of the made up setting i have built. It has to be said however im struggling with the scale of all this and motivating myself to push on is getting tougher!. I have left my fave nations for last so i hope that will help but i have another 4 or 5 of these draws full to do!!. I also have the urge to get some games played and background written so im hoping that will give me a quick break, i just hope i can motivate myself to get back into this!.

 On a slightly different note i have treated myself to the following as a post birthday prezzie:

More minis, that'll help!!!

 These are nice sets, each containing 158 minis from across Strelets Saxon and Viking ranges (with some new sculpts thrown in). I highly recommend them as a new convert to Strelets as they have tonnes of character and if you are looking for troops of this period or fantasy dark age types they work very well. check out the Plastic Soldier Review listings here and here (scroll down the text for links to all the minis in the set). And you can get the sets for £18 each here! (thats roughly 9 pence per mini!). Who fancies a new army for under £20?.

 Just a quick post, all that remains is to welcome the brilliantly named Lost Egg to the wonky world of Wronghammer. Welcome sir!. I'm not sure if you blog but as always if you do feel free to put a link in the comments as we would all love to see what you have been up to!.

......Anyhow, back to the basing (sighs).....till next time......