Sunday 25 March 2018

New project alert!!!!

Having almost completed my self inflicted task of the last 5 months (see here for full stupid details!) i decided it was time to do something that actually required getting some minis, you know...... on the table!! (what with this being a gaming blog n' all!!). So having waited for an idea to whopp me around the head i am finally ready to embark on a narrative campaign!! (yay!). As i'm playing solo i will use the games played to further the narrative but have some plot points i fancy including. I will almost be writing a story rather than producing scenarios based on previous results. So without further ado i present part 1 of part 1 (part 2 of part 1 to follow!) of.............

(ooohhh, someones had a play with paint!!!)


  Sgt Hoff shifted in his saddle, his warhorse Trevor padded at the wet sand. Both could feel the tension in the air. The Wind whipped at his sir coat, ruffling it against his breastplate. Sand peppered the old warriors beard and mighty eyebrows and forced him to raise his calloused hand to shield his eyes. To either side his men stretched along the beach forming a wall of bow and spear...waiting for whatever dangers the tide would bring. Hoff glared into the darkness. He had ordered his men to put out their torches so the enemy could not see his men until they had landed, the moonlight being all but obscured by the heavy clouds that refused to clear. For now the sea was quiet but he knew it was only a matter of time......
  'Copper for 'em sir' came a familiar voice from beside him as a young man trotted up along side Hoff, breaking his train of thought. 'Ah Ginger' exclaimed Set Hoff, turning to regard the baby faced youth beside him, 'i trust the men are ready for the battle?'. 'Yes Sir' replied the lad smartly 'All braced and rearing to go'. 'Good to hear it Ginger, and you, are you ready?, these Northmen are a feisty lot when their bloods up'. 'Al' second that' Came a gruff voice from the other side of Hoff, both Hoff and Ginger turned in their saddles to see the giant form of Bear Maloy ride over to them. 'We used te pick ah teeth wi' scrawny streeks o' nothin like you laddie'.  'Bear, glad to have you along for this one i can tell you' offered Hoff in greeting, The large bearded form of Bear nodded his approval.
'I do have to say sir' Interrupted Ginger 'that i still think it would be better to ambush them as they come up the beach, hide in the brush and use the element of surprise and all'. 'No Ginger, the townsfolk are paying us to send a message not skulk around, need i remind you you are a member of the famous Fighting Cocks, not a common bushwacker!' Replied Sgt Hoff with a tone of finality in his voice. 'Ah know these Bastards betta than any a' ya' snorted bear, 'Trust me when i says these wankers need to be met heed on, theys only respect muscle, you go jumpin 'em they'll be back wi' there mates, tey'll no respect that. Youz gotta meet them face on and prove youz tougher then they are!'.  'In this instance as any i thank you for your counsel mr Maloy, besides it takes one to know one and all that' offered Hoff in reply, twisting his mustache as he spoke, 'we'd better be ready so lets all be clear, we let them ditch the boats and come up the beach, they wont see us until they are close, then we light the torches and tell them to do one and leave the town alone'. 'Jeez, thats nowt but pissin in the wind if youz askin' spat Bear. 'I know, i know' continued Hoff 'but the townsfolk are paying for protection so we need to make it clear what we are here for, besides we insisted on payment up front so we need to put on a show. no ones to engage until i give the signal. Now, to your places one and all and lets make a fight of it!'. Bear lowered his Visor with a curt grunt and unfurled the company banner, A grey bantam on a  crisp white field, he turned and galloped off to the spear block raising a cheer from them, banner held high as he went. 'Good luck Sarge' chimed Ginger as he drew his sword and turned to trot away. 'And to you young man' replied Hoff as he went, and to himself he added 'your farther already wants my blood, try not to give him another excuse....' Hoff turned towards the dark shore trying to get that fateful night at Ballant Keep from his mind.....then he saw them, dark shapes snaking quietly through the water, their thin hulls braking the surf with little effort. Boats, at least 4 of them, a chill went down his spine as he lowered his helm over his head and made ready for the carnage to come........ 

So thats it so far, i hope to get it played soon but i have just started another training course at work that will take the lions share of my attention for awhile but fear not, i will get to it as soon as i can!!!. As far as rules go im planning on using Iron Winds Chaos Wars reboot for the campaign but it will depend on how things go and which directions i choose to go in.

....Anyway, im excited to be getting a bit more focus on gaming (he says having yet to actually start the gaming yet!!). 'Till next time......

Sunday 18 March 2018

Just 3 toenails and a bumhole to go.....

 Hi all, this post is very much for my own benefit so i make my apologies now for the ramble that follows......

   You may recall that i have been spending the last 5 months (has it really been that long?) re-basing my minis (the sorry saga is detailed here and here). I am pleased to report I HAVE ALMOST FINISHED!!!!!!. My mini collection is stored here:
The storage containers of ultimate evil!!.

 And do you know how many of these draws full of minis i have left to base?.......

.......Just this one!!!!!!!.

 I have based tray after tray and lost my mojo several times during this 'project' and it is fair to say i doubted whether i would ever get to a stage where i would be anywhere near the home stretch but here i am!. I appreciate this is purely an act of self congratulations but i'm chuffed. So there!.

   My home made fantasy setting is coming together after i finally sorted a basing system that would work for the regional factions staggering around my head (a main regional colour with a separate faction colour trim) , so far i have based the following (and i know i have yet to give any details of most of these factions so this will mean nothing to anyone but here goes!).......

North West: Lamavic Highland Clans, Lamavic Lowland Clans, Lamavic Sea raiders, Berserker Cults and Northern Outlanders.

Central West: Verland Household troops, Verland militia, Verland Templers, Marcher Lords.

Merchant Kingdoms Mercenary companies (formally the Guild alliance): The Steel Shanks, The Kingmakers, The Saddlebacks, Dahalroons Dogs, The Torralec Exiles and the Engineers Guild (experimental ordnance division). 

North East: Imperial Tradjev, The Crimson company, The tribes of Ashka and The Cult of the New Dawn.

South west: Royal Karmesh. Miracine, The redwater tribes, Assaria and a State slaver company.

 I only have the South East to do which is only made up of 2 factions (Medihama and the Jade Temples for those of you that only have a mild headache after the list above!!!!!).

 So an exercise in back slapping i know but sometimes you have to look back down the road to see how far you have come!!.......

.......and then i went and saw These (and the rest of the range too)....

                                                                                            ..........Bloody Red box!!!!!

  Anyhoo, Next time i will try to post something of actual interest!. Till next time!.....

Saturday 3 March 2018


 As you may know storm Emma (whos naming these things?, i know an Emma who's got a temper but still, not the most awe inspiring name...) is battering the isles of Albion with swathes of white stuff and rather high winds.Being a member of the 'van driving community ('oi mate call that driving?/parking?/braking? etc'....) as a service engineer The net result for me and most of us here is the rare phenomenon known as a:


  While performing the tasks most associated with such a day (building snow folk and pelting the Sprinklings with balls of the stuff) my eye was taken by a table we have in the garden and the rusted cogs of my damaged mind began to turn:
Natural born terrain!!!!!

 So with the Sprinklings inside for dry clothes and hot soup your 'intrepid' blog botherer nipped inside to grab a few bits and this resulted:


 Over the wind swept tundra they trudged, a generic adventuring band on the hunt for an evil wizard of some type or other some bloke in a pub said was up to no good. The olde Gyglaxians was their title and no mission was too dangerous for them (for they were level 5, except the elf who was 6 and would not shut up about it!). Four was their number, and stereotypical was their make up. They were led by a noble knight (lawful too a fault) by the name of Sir Goodeemann, what he was doing adventuring as a knight was unknown, surely an anointed knight had lands to manage and surfs to push about the place but their you are!.  He was accompanied by his faithful followers, Gladeyss Treetickler the elf, Foppish he was but none could equal him with a bow (except all other elves obviously!), The parties wizard Uldenn the unwashed, an unashamed hippy who ducked out of any fight (not because he was a coward, oh no, but as a 'buffer' and 'healer' he was more use alive or so he would have you believe!). Lastly came Thorric 'shorty' Anvilknockker, the worlds tallest dwarf. He would tell you he was a 'half dwarf' but how that came about is best not followed up (considering his mum has a beard). Onwards they strode, no cold or ice could sway them from their cause.

'Chuffin' eck as like its brass bleedin' monkeys oot ere' Exclaimed Gladeeyss in his effeminate elven prose. 'Aw much bloody further do we 'ave ta trudge i can bearly feel me trotters!'.
'Fear not oh master of the shrubs', Answered Sir Goodeeman cheerily, 'Mangled Corpse ridge' is almost over and soon we will come to the valley of 'Small kittens and cup cakes' where the foul and evil wizard we hunt makes his home!'.
'Wait up a mo, did you say Mangled corpse Ridge?,' exclamed Thorric, 'Where all those people died in that battle and their corpses were left for the ravens and vultures and hamsters and that to feast on?'.
'Thats the one', replied Sir Goodeeman, 'Looks rather nice in the snow don't you think?, and have no fear of this place fellows, i bet the slaughter that occurred here will have no bearing in any way on our journey in these next few paragraphs'.
'Aye looks reet champion n' that, shame its so bloody cold for chuffs sake'. Retorted the elf throwing his cloak around him.
'Hey guys i, like, think i remember a spell to keep you warm from my apprentice days' chimed in Uldenn the wizard, 'I'll give it a go. Now it goes...oh how is ready at the key board)....ullakk, nullakk spullak boat, make it like a duffle coat, iffle, niffle, hiffle stones, bring new warmth too frozen bones'. That should do it!'.
''Well i feel a bit warmer' said Sir Goodeeman encouragingly.
'Well i blimmin dont' retorted Gladeyss, 'are you sure that spell was right?'.

......While the party stood discussing the finer points of why Uldenn was a crap wizard the ground began to rumble in a threatening manor......
......and long dead bones started to rise once more.......

  '.....and that time you blinded us with that mystic light, and you burned my backside 'saving' me with that fire ball, and you turned me into a chaffinch for almost a week and....'
'BLOODY HELL!!' shouted Uldenn pointing into the near distance 'ITS AN ARM!!!'
The party turned as one to follow the direction Uldenn was pointing.
'Godzukes!!' started Sir Goodeeman, 'Skeletons!!. 
As more and more of the dead rose the party sprang into action like a well oiled adventuring team should when faced with low level generic monsters!!.
 Sir Goodeeman and Thorric steamed into the enemy scattering frozen bones in all directions.
 Gladeyss took on some undead archers in a duel of arrows, knowing the skeletons had no eyes!.
Quickly the brave adventurers hacked through the enemy. 'Not so bad, more a work out than anything else!' Quipped Sir Goodeeman as he sliced through his final opponent. 
'Speak for yourself pal', replied Thorric, thick red blood spilling from a wound in his shoulder.
'Aah this is where the crap wizard comes into his own then is it?' said Uldenn stepping forward. 'Anyone got anything to say?'.
'Jus' bloody 'eal im beardy or i'll ave to stick an arra somewhere painful' answered Gladeyss with a glint in his perfect sky blue eyes.
'All right all right' conceded Uldenn, 'at least let me go up to that ridge for dramatic effect' he said pointing at a raised snow bank.
'Oh very well' said Sir Goodeeman 'but please make it quick'.

  Uldenn crested the ridge and took a deep breath of cold air, healing he could do, it was a day at the office for him and besides, the wound was just a scratch in truth, no problem. He readied himself and raised his staff and in his most dramatic voice he bellowed the ancient words:
              Fipple, bipple, snipple, bell, Heal the wounds and make all well. Andoo, mandoo, fandoo, buzz, make the form as it once was!' He smashed his staff into the snow for effect and as it landed he felt a slight tremor in the earth. Then he saw slight movement in the snow beneath him:

Gladeyss moved up beside him and glanced at the scene below. 'You've gone an' done it again ant ya!!. Nice one wazzock!'.
And with that the brave Olde Gyglaxians charged once more into glory?.....
....or death?.

...Frankly i'm not sure as my fingers were flippin freezing so i called it a day and went inside for soup and central heating like a sane 'normal' type person. But you know what, that was the most fun i have had gaming for a while, i'm not sure what the neighbours made of it but who cares?. Also playing by following a loose narrative as it wrote itself rather than a strict rulebook was good as it opened up the options of what i could do, after all it was about the heros, the skellies were more plot points then real threats.
For rules i loosely used this as a base:
Now theres a classic!, i made some characters, used the wizard as a plot device rather than creating spells but did let him 'shoot' and i treated 'groups' of enemies as single monsters with each skeleton giving 2 stamina points to the group as a whole. But enough of the rules piffle, theres hot chocolate (with marshmallows!) to drink so i'll popping off......

......'Till next time, stay warm......