Tuesday, 4 September 2018

The battle of Both Ways

Yep that's right, just when you thought it may have been safe to loaf around on the old internettibobs i'm back with the next battle in:

     With the Battle of Habituals Ridge done and dusted and a thorough kicking been dished out to the forces of Crivenshire i am going to zoom in on another area of the campaign, this time the north west.

You will notice the Fossestershire 2nd and the Crivenshire 4th are having a bit of relational difficulties in the area, the Crivenshire 4th have been sent to head off the Fossestershire force so the rest of the Crivenshire forces can deal with the 'big push' from the northerners in the east. This has lead to the leader of the Fossestershire 2nd, one sir Phyice has ordered an advanced force to push on and capture the way point of Both Ways inside the clearing in Phlippinooge forest, the only crossing point over the fierce Splishy river that cuts the provinces in half. The tactical importance of the crossings has not been lost on either side and the commander of the Fossestershire 4th, sir Leon-Seat has ordered local forces to hold them at all costs. The advanced force from the north are advancing into a trap!. 
     The area in question looks like this:
 (Picture taken from 'Olde Albilande in pictures (14th edition)' produced as ever to raise funds for the Albilande conservation collective (cake making and casual violence department).
(Click to make it all big)

  I played out the battle as a test for my 'massively stupid scale battle rules' im (STILL BLOODY!) working on to try them on a smaller sized battle. I also implemented the following rules:

-To win a force had to either make the opposing side flee the field or have an unit of troops within 20cm of the bridges and no enemy troops within the same distance of either bridge at the end of the 5th turn.

-Phlippenooge forest is governed by the autonomous Nymph collective trust (ANCT) and therefore has no interest in the wars of silly childish humans. The North/South roads are in use as a courtesy to the King (deceased) and are governed by a strict one way system and collection of permits and passes required to use them. Constant patrols of the Forest behavior and actions control officers (FBACO) are in place to make sure the rules are followed by all travelers in the forest grounds. Failure to follow the rules are punishable by death. Oh and the average FBACO operative is typically an 9 foot tall angry Dryad.
 At the start of each turn i will roll 1d6. On the roll of a 5+ a patrol from the FBACO will arrive from a random area of tree life and proceed to approach the closest unit to check their paperwork (no troopers have any sort of paperwork for the battle!). on a D6 roll of 1-2 the unit will be able to use excuses such as 'its in me other jerkin' or 'damn i left it on the cart' and so forth to placate the patrol, on a 3+ the patrol will offer swift justice by attacking!. Once in play the patrol will continue to approach units in this way until destroyed. Only one patrol will be in play at any one time.

So...to the scuffleage!.....

   The action begins as the advanced forces of Fossestershire clippity-clop, romp, march and otherwise traverse the South road into the clearing containing the Bridges.

(The Fossestershire force of: A unit of heavy cav lead by Sir Planted, A unit of light horse, two trailing units of heavy foot, one lead by Sgt Pullitt-backke, and a unit of crossbowmen. As ever my thanks goes to the tireless work of the Wronghammer plastic reenactment society for their fantastic pictures illustrating the battle).

However awaiting them on the other side of the river were the quickly assembled forces of Sir Bilgington-Bile and his local troopers:
(The Crivenshire forces of: (From closest to furthest) A unit of serf bowmen, A unit of Crivenshire patented pike, Sir Bilgington-Bile and his brave footte Knightes.....
.....A unit of bows and a cannon!).

The battle begins with the Footee Knightes of Sir Bilgington-Bile and the Patented Pike taking a bridge each as the Fossestershire forces attempted to advance to close the distance:

While the forces moved forward the combined fire of the archers:

And the cannon:

Combined to destroy the Fossestershire light horse!

                                             (the former light horse have a nice lay down)

At the first sight of the enemy Sir Planted orders his hev horse to charge the pike on the bridge!

While seeing his commanding officers bravery Sgt Pullitt-backke orders his unit of foot(e) to do the same on the other bridge.

            (Sir Bilgington-Bile crosses great swords and choice words with Sgt Pullitt-backke)

Meanwhile the din of battle attracts some unwanted FBACO attention:

 'Look sarge, it appears there are multiple small types making use of the facilities'.
'Quite so private Phontofearthlypeace,it 'hapears we will need to a'check their paperwork is in the correct 'horder, let us proceed to the closest fleshy type ha'pace'.

'Ello ello, i 'ope you 'ave the required permit for such hordance within the peaceful grounds of the forest?'.
'Eeeerrr, sorry officer, we cant have it on our person due....err.....to....well its smoke damage you see... on account of the cannon, talk to our C.O, ees over there on the bridge, the one surrounded by the severed limbs.....officer.....officAAAHHHHHHHHGGGHHHHH!!!!!'.

'Fine h'application of justice Phontofearthlypeace, let us stroll h'onwards to check the clearance of the rest of these ner'dowells'.

Meanwhile, on the bridges:

The attack of Sgt Pullitt-backkes foot is repelled after taking heavy losses.

While after their charge was stopped Sir Planteds' Hev horse are massacred by the pike!.

Seeing their commander fall the second unit of Fossestershire foot think better of charging the bridge, instead choosing to goad the pike into attacking their defensive formation in open ground!. With the use of various assumptions about the enemies mothers they manage to get the pike to charge them!. Not wanting to expose his fellows flank Sir Bilgington-Bile orders his Foote Knightes off their bridge to engage the beaten foot of Sgt Pullitt-backke:

While this is transpiring:

'Honestly officer, i left it in my other quiver!'

The Crivenshire serfs spy an opportunity for bravery and grab a bridge!:

The charge of the brave Foote Knightes proves too much for the Fossestershire foot and despite the best efforts of Sgt Pullitt-backke his men turn and run!:

Which sparks the mass rout of the Fossestershire force, the Bridges of Both ways belong to Crivenshire........

..........For now at least!.

That was fun, finally after two large scale whoopings Crivenshire have something to crow about!.
'till next time.........


  1. Excellent work. I love the action at the bridges. The big battle rules seem to work well.
    (At least you had bridges in your battles, unlike that Braveheart rubbish where the Bridge at Stirling Bridge seemed to disappear).

    I also like how this battle could easily have been called 'The Battle of the North...I mean South...no North Road'. A lot of historical battles seem to have more than on name - now I know why.

    1. Cheers your Ducness, the rules will be finished some time this decade!. And I have to ask you to lay off Braveheart, as a fantasy gamer I have a similar grasp of military history as Mr Gibson, I couldn't write better fantasy (as I have often proved!).

    2. Yes, my apologies.
      The difference with Mr Gibson, is that he believes that it is history.
      I cite 'the Patriot' as exhibit A, your Honour.

    3. That's true, I think that's why his films are so stupidity funny. Even funnier is the fact that not one studio exec for any of his films actually thought 'hang on a mo...' Before bankrolling the things!. Gotta love Hollywood!.

      Did you know Wallace invented the pike?.

  2. Nice narración!! Crossing defended bridges is always exciting story! I liked a lot report and scenery. Questions:
    -which figure is the walking tree which is not the GW dryad?
    -which figure is the lone 2h swordman fighting in the bridge?

    1. I guess I mean Sgt Pullit backke,sorry!

    2. Hi sceavus,glad you enjoyed it. I always enjoy a battle over an objective, always gives a tense game. Both the tree men are gw dryads I just went mad sticking on all the extra bits on the sprue!. Sgt pullit backke is from the Steelers English men at arms set.

    3. Aha very clever with your "customized" dryad :)
      Strelets men at arms I have no yet, must check them..
      And as posted lower, the aquarium furniture is one ofnthe best aquisitions I ever imagined!

    4. Thanks mate, the men at arms are a very nice set. You can still get the bridges here: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Suspension-Bridge-Aquarium-Fish-Tank-Submarine-Landscape-Ornament-16-5-5-4cm/253664150005?hash=item3b0f8fc1f5:g:TaEAAOSw3NtbEk6s

  3. Great battle Mr Sprinks - love the dryads and the bridges are very fine too

    1. Cheers Jack, the bridges were aquarium furniture from eBay, £5 for the pair. Best scenery style bargain I've managed so far.