Monday, 2 October 2017

Mentally Terraformish: When in Lamavic (AAR1)

Hi folks, it feels like its been a while. I started a new job last week so things have been a bit slow round here as focus has been diverted but fear not, i wont be ignoring these prattish pages of (un)polished pointlessness and procrastination (try saying that five times quickly after a few pints!), i will be updating as an when time allows so bear with me and i will reward your patience with my peculiar brand of tosh and prattle!. Speaking of which i have an AAR to write!....

 Governor Paral starred down his nose at what was once scribe Garrat and tutted to himself, he slowly walked back to his solid oak desk and sat, still tutting as he went. He drummed his fingertips on the table top and sighed. 'So you say he rejected our most generous offer....' he glanced down at a piece of parchment on the table and back down his nose at Garrat who was shaking before him...' and he had the nerve to kill all the guards we sent with you. Tell me Scribe, did he say anything positive at all?'. 'No my lord, not a thing' replied Garrat. 'He said, and im quoting him directly, he said, ''He'' meaning you of course my lord, ''he can can....he can chew on my shite before he gets my land'', he had the gaul to say that!'. Parals face was unmoved by the scribes words. 'Did he' he said after a pause. Garrat shuffled beneath the governors burrowing gaze. 'And he said something queer my lord'. 'Really' said Paral in mock surprise, 'tell me scribe, what did he say?' Paral lent forward, his gaze intensified. 'He said something about the offer sir', started Garrat. 'He said, and its mad sir, shows just how stupid and uneducated these savages are sir, he said, and this will make you laugh sir when you hear it, he said'.... 'Yes' interrupted  the Governor, a thin smile on his lips and his eyes still fixed unblinking on the figure before him. 'He said......he said you want him to attack us so, and this will really crack you up sir, so you will be justified in going to war with the Clans!. Garrat broke out in a nervous laugh, it took half a moment before he realized the Governor was not joining in, in fact he was sat bolt upright fixing Garrat with his cold stare. After an eternity Paral calmly stated 'I am'. Garrats face was the perfect picture of shock and surprise, 'but sir, that would be in direct opposition to the policies put in place to control guild actions overseas, a war may only be sanctioned by a high Governor in times of dire threat, you cant start one sir, you cant!!'. Paral rose from his seat and walked slowly towards the Scribe. 'Who do you think sanctioned this trip scribe?, are you so slow you dont realize the nature of our mission?'. 'www..wwelll ssir'. started Garrat cowering slightly as Paral strode towards him. 'We are hardly here to mine this scrap of land Garrat' continued Paral, 'This trip is to take the area in the north of Lamavic, create a gateway into this god forsaken wilderness for our further expansion but to do this we need to, how would you understand this, clear the land. We need to be seen to adhere to policy and as you know we cant very well stroll up and start a war, we require some provocation. Thats where the offer came in, to goad the savages by insulting them. However it seems they are brighter than i gave them credit for, we will need to step up our activities.' The governor was standing before Garrat, towering over him. 'Now im sure you understand this information is on a strictly need to know basis'. Said Paral, smiling at Garrat. Garrat relaxed a little. 'Which is why...' continued Paral as he thrust his hand towards the scribes belly, berrying his hidden dagger up to its hilt, Garrat gave a faint 'hurmph' as Paral placed his hand over the scribes mouth and bored his gaze into Garrats.....' you cannot be allowed to know'. The lifeless scribe slumped to the ground. Paral clapped his hands together and two guards strode into the room silently and removed his body. 'CAPTAIN ALLAC', shouted the Governor, 'ENTER'. A tall, thick set, dark haired man entered the tent, his glistening steel armor shining in the candle light. 'Yes sir' he said smartly, removing his helm and bowing before his seniors gaze. 'It seems we need to give our enemy further encouragement. Take a force with you to the area known as the Barracdoons, there you will find a pile of earth known as the cairns of clan Mallarac by the locals. I want you to ensure it is not there come sunset. Take some of the local troops to show you the way and take that mage too, he gives me the willies'. 'The one with the entrails wound through his hair and the blood on his face Sir, keeps swearing and kicking children sir?' enquired the captain.  'Yes Allac, mad fannah i believe he is called, claims to use magic. If nothing else the locals will follow him and if we are very lucky we can get him killed, might stir them up a bit'. 'As you say sir'. replied the captain smartly. He bowed again and turned to go. 'Captain' called Paral as he was leaving,  'i am sure you understand how sensitive this mission is, i would hate for anything to go wrong, heads would be sure to roll'. Allac paused for a moment in the doorway. 'As you say Sir' was all he said as he departed.

  I decided i fancied a game of Dragon Rampant for this one as i plan for this to be the start of a small campaign with a far bigger battle to follow!.  This battle is set in the borders between north east Lamavic (the home lands of Clan Mallaric) and the Frostfangs in the area known as the Barracdoons, within which is the Cairn of Clan Mallaric, the resting place of the hero's  and great leaders of the Clan. The land is almost holy to the Clansmen and those within are the subject of many Sagas. Its fair to say that messing with such an area is unwise to say the least!. The Cairn is a massive burial mound that gets bigger with each hero that rests there. It is marked with flags and patrolled by the clansmen that live by it. No foes have ever attacked the Cairns since they were defiled by the exiled Bondsman known as Callar and his dark mage accomplice known simply as mad fannah, two individuals that lead a failed rebellion against the Clan leaders, the result of which was their exile to a small settlement in the Frostfangs where Callar and his followers now lick their wounds and plan their next move .....the very bhoys the High Governor of the Mining Guild  has contacted to help his guilds forces land unnoticed in the Frostfangs in fact.....
 The battle begins when the clan troops under the control of Captain Allac guided by some of Callars men led by Mad Fannah no less advance on the Cairn, however the local Clansmen are only too aware of their intentions and are moving to stop them....

The Cairn of Clan Mallaric.

 The objective of the game is to be the only force with unbattered troops within 5ins of the flags on the Cairn at the end of turn 5 (sundown). The side that manages this will be the winner.

The guild forces

(left-right) 2x Pike squads, 1 lead by Captain Allac (heavy foot), 1x Musketeers (heavy missiles)
                                                      (minis by Red box and Revell)

Mad Fannahs Frostfang exiles (allies and guides to the guild forces)
(From the back) 1x Scouts, 1x Rebel Clansmen (light offensive foot), Mad Fannah (wizardling with almighty prod, stronger sheilds and heal thee, light foot).
                                             (minis by Red Box, Revell and Hat)

Opposed by:
                         THE CLAN CAIRN PROTECTION COMPANY

(back row) 1x Huntsmen (scouts), 1x  Clan crossbows (light missiles) 
(middle) 2x Clansmen (Bellicose foot, Hatred)
(front) 1x Hunting Hounds (lesser warbeasts), 1x Clan Horse led by Laird Barrack (local Bondsman to Laird Aralin) (Heavy Horse, Hatred).
                                               (minis by Red Box, Revell, Strelets and Hat)

Note: I made the Clansmen Bellicose foot to represent the fact that they were some what put out by the attack on the Cairn, i also gave them Hatred for the same reason!.

As always i have used my colored bases. Guild forces are on Red with Yellow trim, The Rebels are on White with Blue trim and the Lamavic forces are on Blue with Black trim.

The field, before the battle. (the Cairn is to the left)


The Guild right, Rebels on the flank, Muskets protecting the ford.

The left, Scouts in the trees,  pikes and a mentalist together and more pikes over the ridge.

On the Lamavic side the crossbows get ready to assault the cairn flanked by the frothing Clansmen units.

The Hunting hounds, Clan Horse and Huntsmen get ready to wipe out the Guild flank!


The Rebels advance, the hounds have the same idea!.
The Pike on the flank move out to meet the Clansmen barreling towards them!. by the rocks.

The opening turns saw both forces advancing piecemeal towards each other taking pot shots. On the right....

On the Cairn the Lamavic troops crested the ridge before the enemy troops got organized enough to stop them (the musketeers fluffed two activations in a row!. They put it down to frozen shot and union cold weather guidelines...'sorry mate, what can i do?, union rules innit, too cold to load, ave ta wait till spring mate!....').

1 ridge, crested.
On the edge of the Cairn the Pike and rabid Clansmen met in a storm of Pikes and strong language, the pikes were forced to retreat and would remain battered for the rest of the battle!

Faced with a hill covered with mad Clansmen Captain Allac ordered his men to form a wall of pikes!, these were boosted by Mad Fannahs magic (stronger shields!).

Before they could get their act together and , you know, shoot or anything the Clan Horse stomped into the muskets, sending them to look for other employment that would make the best use of sword wounds and spear holes!. 

On the Cairn the Clansmen were too wound up to be bothered by anything like a defensive position and flung themselves into the pikes, getting pushed back up the hill for their troubles!.
Sensing victory The pikes broke formation and charged up the hill, forcing the Clansmen back further. The huntsmen responded by showering the pikemen with spears, forcing them to retreat and fail a battered test!.

While all this was kicking off Mad Fannah cursed the other unit of pike cowering in the face of the pee'd off clansmen. Bellowing something about 'Soft southern jessies and shite faced Clan bastards' he charged head long into the Clansmen!!

Killing 2 and chasing them off!!!!

'Och and stay outta it ya gurly swine!!!'.

With the Clans on top of the Cairn and the Guild forces with nothing able to move close enough to contest it dusk fell (along with the temperature!) and Captain Allac ordered the retreat. 

Final positions at the end of the game from the Lamavic table edge.

The Cairn may be safe for now but the war is far from over........

Well that was fun to play, the combo of wild charges and hatred on the Lamavic side meant they would charge automatically each turn they could see the enemy and were close enough!. This made for a very fun 'fluffy' game where a charge in the wrong conditions ( read: wall of pikes!!) almost spelled disaster for the charging side!. Proof that powerful upgrades are not always the blessing they appear to be!. The question is, where to go with this from here?, will the Clan forces seek revenge for this cowardly attack on their 'holy' ground in the face of common sense?, Will they hole up and make the Guilds come to them?, Will the Guild forces perform more gorilla attacks to goad the Clans into action or will this be enough to convince the them to make an all out attack to force the issue?. What do you think?, comments below and i promise most popular idea will shape the direction this campaign goes in!.

Very much looking forward to your comments (keep them clean...who am i kidding, don't bother!!)...anyhow...till next time you lovely peeps........


  1. HAHA I love it. C'mon, tell the truth, Mad Fannah is really Tim the Enchanter from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, right? ;)

    1. Yep, you got me athough he also contains large doses of S.P.G, mad McAdder, the wee free men.......and Supergran!.😄

  2. Great scrap there Mr Sprinks. I haven't read the Rampant series of war games rules though they seem very popular. Good luck in the new (big) job (Wee Free Men reference in case you hadn't noticed).

    1. Thanks Jack, always time for a Wee Free Men reference!. I'd encourage you to give the rampants a go, lots of fun and if you get the Dragon coloured one you can use reduced sized units, ideal for smaller model counts (and using a grid mayhaps).