Monday, 5 February 2018

Workorcs of the world unite!!!

Bloody hell i just realized my last AAR was posted last November!!, time to pull my finger out and write a prologue then....

The Malevolent Allen,
Dark Cragges, The,
North Badlanddes,
The Wastes,
EV1 1LL.
                                                                                                                Ms Repellia Kraybbs,
                                                                                                                Inter species relations,
                                                                                                                Tower of Total blackness,
                                                                                                                Old foulness Trading Estate,
                                                                                                                Sl11 11II.

 Dear Mr Malevolent,
                               It has been bought to the attention of my associates at U.R.T.E.I.I. (the Union of Representatives of Total Evil Incarnate International) that your recent decision to fire your entire workforce (including all hench creatures, guards, cowled scribes, officers of all ranks and general minions) controvenes several sections of of ye olde evil overlordes working entitlements agreement for underlings 1074. Namely:

i; Sacking by (rather abusive) letter rather than by use of the agreed consultation and review procedure set out in the aforementioned act.

ii; Using terms such as 'useless knuckle dragging workshy ba***rds', 'totally unreliable lumps of steaming warg leavings' and 'slathering wastes of time, food, oxygen, space, effort and other things too bal*achingly tiresome to go into' in such a piece of correspondence is directly opposed to the guidelines given in section 4 paragraph 18 of 'Evil underlings and the right to self worth at work act 11287'

iii; Withholding payments on any basis, even, and i quote 'because all you total wan*lings do is cost me time, stress and good gold and frankly you owe me for putting up with your bul**hit for all these blo*dy years' is strictly forbidden under the fair payment for deeds of evil and/or darkness act of 1101.

iv; Replacing said workers without following the guidelines drawn in the 'employment rights for enterprises of malcontent both long and short term act 1099' specifically the act of properly advertising said positions, interviewing and vetting potential employees and setting out benefits, payments and terms of work in a correctly drawn up contract rather than 'popping down yee dajrklanddes discountte necromanciee emporiumme and picking up a second hand copy of the bookee o' the dedde and, and again i quote, 'whipping up a bunch of lackies with frankly more bloody life in them then you lazy ars**oles ever blimmin' well displayed in the last twenty years of  dispoilling and general evil mongering you bunch of complete and utter fu**nuggets'.

  The abuses of your position listed above leave my organization little choice other then direct industrial action. Expect a picket line to be established within a 2 mile radius of your address listed above to begin within the next few days. Also be forewarned that any aggression from yourself or representatives of your workforce towards striking members will not be tolerated. This action will cease upon either:

i; A reinstatement of your workforce with correct measures in place to assure this never happens again.

ii; Agreeable settlements are provided for each member as a redundancy package to be negotiated with U.R.T.E.I.I. representatives.

iii; Your slow, lingering, bloody death.

  I feel it only fair to warn you that our members are already sharpening their 'placards'.

                                                Yours expectantly,
                                           Ms Repellia Kraybbs, Inter species relations.

.....Game to follow soon (i hope), i fancy doing a big one so may be breaking out Kings of War again!.

  All that remains is to give a hearty wronghammer welcome to John M of fame. Check out his blog its choc full of true scale goodness, i recommend it!!.

......Anyway, 'till the dice roll, see you next time.......


  1. Oddly enough some of my colleagues are 'totally unreliable lumps of steaming warg leavings' - looking forward to your next report Mr Spinks

    1. Thanks mate, funnily enough my last job was full of em too!. I hope it eases off for you soon.

    2. There's a lot of them about! Do you think that "Dereliction of Duty in the face of the Auditors" is a Court Martial offence?

    3. Not sure about court martial but a strong contender for 'a kneecapping round by the bins'!!. HR don't need to know!

  2. Sprinks , it is good that you are concerned with serious things as the social and Laboral rights of our minis :)
    Looking forward on how the orc strike is developing,doesn't seem calmed at all..

    1. Thanks sceavus, I can't imagine orcs will strike calmly!, and ogres are even worse!!.