Friday, 16 June 2017

Flat pack Castle, or a year 6 project by a 38 year old man(child)

 A while ago Mrs Sprinks and yours truly spent a joyful day in the oddly shaped furniture  Hellhole  known as Ikea. Meatballs were scoffed, display items broken ('tested dear, tested honest!) and beds were lept on and after almost a day of embarrassing my wife in public we came away with several items for keeping books on (shelves apparently). These were built by Mrs Sprinks (who is a flat pack JEDI!!!, really, its awesome just give her the WORST INSTRUCTIONS KNOWN TO MANKIND and leave the room for ten minutes and when you stick your face back round hey presto international space station!). One side effect of this MDF based twattery is the monumental pile of cardboard that the things come packed with:

Artists impression. 

Soooo what to do with it all?. Mrs Sprinks came up with a brilliant idea. 'Why don't you use this stuff to make the kids a castle to play with you magnificent specimen of a man you! (not her actual words). Now as a manchild that pushes toys around tables i heard 'why don't you use this stuff to........make a castle etc etc (you know the rest). So thats what i did. A ton of cutting, gluing, paper mashing and painting (and a few bad, bad words) and i had the following:
Flat Pack Castle!

Now i admit its no Mighty Fortress (ask an Oldhammerer) but its not such a bad effort if i do say so meself!. Its meant to be a ruined castle hence the crumbliness to the brickwork and cracks n' all. Its table ready standard. Here's some more pics:

Its made in sections so i can use as much or as little as i want at a time. I also made some ruined sections so some of the walls could look as if they had been breached in the past and a ruined tower too.

The whole thing when put together is pretty large, the table its on is roughly 90cm wide and the felt i used is 95cm square to give an idea. Below is a scale shot to show the height.

From left: 28mm GW orc, 1:72 (20mm) human and horseman (Red Box and Zvesda ).

In the Wronghammer tradition it was cheep, fun and has a charm of its own (i hope!).

...anyway.... till next time.........


  1. Bloody fantastic.

    How the hck did you build that? Seriously, that first pic looks like something you would have to pay good money for.

    Now, we need to see a proper siege game :)

  2. Superb scratch-build castle - the Duc is correct; a siege is called for. Lolly-pop stick siege towers at dawn.
    I'm also very taken with the ruin, even I maybe able to manage that sort of thing, though I'd call it DIY.
    Does anyone actually look at the IKEA instructions?

  3. Thanks guys. It was far simpler than it looks honest!. The pieces of card were 5cm thich so almost a pre fab wall!, just a bit of pva, a layer or two of paper mashe and a dark then light grey paint followed by an even lighter 'muddy' grey drybrush and its good to go!. I have half an eye on a siege but have a kings of war game set for this eve followed by a game using those quotes you wee scamps have challanged me with!.Oh Mrs Sprinks does not read ikea instructions she OWNS them!! 😃.